The Formula (Indonesia)

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Aug 7^th, 2009 - I’ve been on a bit of a blogging holiday. For the three of my regular followers I apologize. Not all that much going down. I flew from Medan to Bali and returned to Ubud, where it all started. I had to come back here to retrieve my passport from the visa agency with whom I left it. Yes, I’ve been traveling around Indonesia for months without my passport. Legal? Probably not but many folks do it. Legal smegal, right?

I was pleased to discover upon glancing through my passport that Indonesian immigration officials had used up all but one of my visa pages unnecessarily. Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. So now I have to head to an embassy and add some pages. Super. Which embassy? To Kuala Lumpur I go! I am going to head to Malaysia’s capital for a week or so to stock up on supplies and plan my next move.

My next move? Hmmmmm. Well, it appears that I will be meeting a friend in Vietnam in the later part of September so the dilemma revolves around what to do with my time until then. Time for a complex formula. I would stay in Malaysia and hit Borneo but the alignment of Mercury and Venus do not bode well for that option.

I thought about returning to Indo to hit the Banda Islands but a blind elf appeared to me in a dream and warned me against the possible consequences (namely that I would lose all of my hair and turn purple).

The Philippines crossed my radar but I am too afraid I would become addicted to balut and screw everything that moves (It is believed to be an aphrodisiac).

Sri Lanka Facts (U.S. Department of State)

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Geography
Area: 65,610 sq. km. (25,332 sq. mi.); about the size of West Virginia.
Cities: Capital--Colombo (pop. est. 1.3 million--urban area). Sri Jayewardenepura-Kotte is the officially designated capital and is the site of Parliament. Other cities--Kandy (150,000), Galle (110,000), Jaffna (100,000).
Terrain: Coastal plains in the northern third of country; hills and mountains in south-central Sri Lanka rise to more than 2,133 meters (7,000 ft.).
Climate: Tropical. Rainy seasons--light in northeast, fall and winter, with average rainfall of 50 in.; heavy in southwest, summer and fall, with average rainfall of 200 in.

People
Nationality: Noun and adjective--Sri Lankan(s).
Population: 21.3 million.
Annual population growth rate: 0.9%.
Ethnic groups (2002): Sinhalese (74%), Tamils (18%), Muslims (7%), others (1%).
Religions: Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity.
Languages: Sinhala and Tamil (official), English.
Education: Years compulsory--to age 14. Primary school attendance--96.5%. Literacy--91%.
Health: Infant mortality rate--18.57/1,000. Life expectancy--73 yrs. (male); 77 yrs. (female).
Work force: 7.6 million (excluding northern provinces).

Government
Type: Republic.
Independence: February 4, 1948.
Constitution: August 31, 1978.
Suffrage: Universal over 18.
Branches: Executive--president, chief of state and head of government, elected for a 6-year term. Legislative--unicameral 225-member Parliament. Judicial--Supreme Court, Court of Appeal, High Court, subordinate courts.
Administrative subdivisions: Nine provinces and 25 administrative districts.
Political parties: Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna, National Freedom Front, Jathika Hela Urumaya, Sri Lanka Freedom Party, Tamil National Alliance, United National Party, Tamileela Makkal Viduthalai Pulikal, Sri Lankan Muslim Congress, National Unity Alliance, Ceylon Workers' Congress, Up-Country People's Front, several small Tamil and Muslim parties, Marxists, and others.

Naked Negombo (Western Province, Sri Lanka)

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Negombo to Puttalam (North Western Province, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 18, 2009 - I drove north from Negombo to Puttalam. The second half of the drive took me through coconut plantations and was rather enjoyable. I made part of the journey twice as a result of leaving my rain jacket and pants at the guest house I was staying at in Negombo. Swift.

I have been pleasantly surprised to discover traffic is much more subdued than it was in Indonesia. It can still be a bit harrowing but thus far it is not so bad. You still have the ‘size matters’ philosophy at work, unconcerned livestock milling about in the road, and people refusing to even peek at oncoming traffic while darting out from behind buses like a game of frogger but overall there is much less volume. I have also found many folks driving at a reasonable rate of speed. In fact some could even be classified as ‘slow’. 

Very, very refreshing. One thing I do see a lot more of is bicycles which does require vigilance as cyclists seem to have little need for keeping to one side of the road. Multiple passengers is also not uncommon. I saw a man riding a bike with his wife on the handle bars holding a baby. Somebody call the circus.

After I found reasonable lodging I went for a spin out on a nearby peninsula to the town of Kalpitiya. I came upon my first military check point and was ushered through without incident. I was asked where I was going but I believe this was more out of curiosity than anything else. Tourists do not venture out this way very frequently and they certainly do not come cruising by on a dirt bike. I received many of the familiar ‘what the hell is that and why is it here’ stares. I'm so accustomed it is almost most like coming home. There was not really much to see along the way. There is an old Dutch fort in Kalitiya but it is occupied by the military so there was no chance of sneaking a peek.

Puttalam to Anuradhapura (North Central Province, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 19^th 2009 - What a difference two days makes. This day was excellent for five reasons: I am in Sri Lanka. I have a motorcycle. I made a wrong turn. I saw monkeys. I have a motorcycle. Left Puttalam this morning and headed to the ancient city of Anuradhapura. Never underestimate my ability to become disoriented. The roads are well marked but somehow I missed a turn.

It was a great unintentional move. Traffic was light, the backdrop scenic, and the weather pleasant. Much of the road I was on is covered by overreaching tree branches forming a natural tunnel. I passed open marshland, Buddhist holy sites, slow moving serpentine rivers crossed by ramshackle bridges, roadside fruit vendors, and a surplus of smiling faces. The road was a bit uneven but this only enhanced the effect. Having dirt bike suspension was a bonus. I did pass more than a few police checkpoints but was ushered through with a smile and a wave every time.

While driving along I happened to notice a rather large statue of Buddha situated near a rock face and was compelled to investigate. The area near the statute is the site of a small monastery. I wish I knew more about the significance of what I saw but I must confess my ignorance. 

As no one appeared to speak English I was forced to remain in the dark. The modest complex has the rock formation on the right decorated with a 40 ft (guestimate) Buddha and other smaller red monk-like figures at different points along the rocks. There are also different areas for worship and habitation strewn about the grounds. While I was attempting to capture a troop of local primates on film there were some worshipers chanting in unison to the lead of a small boy (monk in training I presume). It is the same boy you see in the picture below that was busy with a lesson when I arrived. There was a serenity and warmth to the place that I found most endearing.

Anuradhapura (North Central Province, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 19^th, 2009 - Today I explored the ancient city of Anuradhapura. It became the capital of Sri Lanka in 380 BC under the rule of King Pandukabhaya but reached its height under Devanampyia Tissa (247-207 BC). It was to serve as the capital of Sri Lanka for over 1000 years. I began at the Ruvanvelisaya Dagoba. What the hell is a dagoba? A dagoba is a dome-shaped memorial alleged to contain relics of Buddha or a Buddhist saint; also referred to as a stupa or chaitya. This one was built by Devanampyia and was his crowning achievement. It is an impressive sight and extremely sacred to Buddhist followers. People come to make offerings, pray, meditate, and the like. In fact most of the people there were pilgrims and worshipers, not tourists per se.

I then moved on to the Sacred Bodhi Tree. This tree acts as the heart of the city both physically and spiritually. It is said to be the oldest historically authenticated tree in the world and has been cared for and guarded for over 2000 years. Wowie.

Much of the sacred city is nestled in a light forest that simply emanates serenity. As you make your way through a sense of calm and well being slowly overtakes you. It is all you can do not to curl up on a patch of grass near a ruin or under tree and drift off to sleep. Oh what a sight this must have been in its heyday. I made stops at Elephant Pond, the Moonstone, Samadhi Buddha (statue), Twin Ponds, and a host of other sites that formed part of the thriving ancient city. Wowie.

I ended my tour at the massive brick Jetavanarama Dagoba built in the third century. It originally stood at a 100m but now reaches only 70m. The area around this dagoba contains the ruins of a monastery and, like other parts of the city, is situated in a beautiful area of green patchwork interspersed between trees and the remains of ancient structures.

The Universe Wouldn't Let Me Leave (Anuradhapura, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 22^nd, 2009 - Packed up my things and attempted to go on my way. Before leaving Anuradhapura I'd hoped to get a look at a stupa I had missed but decided against it when I realized it was a bit out of my way. As I was leaving town I happened to pass the museum where I met Chandana. I figured if he were there I could honk and wave goodbye as I drove by. As it turned out both he and Chari were at the museum looking for prospective clients. I drove over to say hello. When Chari offered to take me to some ruins in a place known as Mihintale I knew I was not going anywhere. We went back to Chandana’s house for some tea before setting off.

Mihintale is famous for being the sight where King Devanampyia Tissa was converted to Buddhism by Mahinda, the son of a great Buddhist emperor. I was not taken to the main temple complex where most visit. Instead Chari showed me an ancient monastery that receives fewer visitors and even fewer western tourists. It is a special place and , at the risk of going mystical, one can almost feel the energy emanating from this area.

Chari explained to me that everything was built with both Buddhist principles and mathematics in mind. It was, and is, a place for mediation and contemplation. There are still monks living on the grounds. And those who wish to do so can come and stay for a day, week, month, etc. and sequester oneself in the small cave dwellings that have been used by those seeking enlightenment for a thousand years. Existence at this place is ascetic to say the least. A thin mat on a bed carved out of the rock is the sum total of your creature comforts. The place was designed with meditation in mind. Whether it be in your room, on a standing mediation platform nearby, or on the rocks on a cliff side chances are if you are a serious practitioner this place is Nirvana (pardon the pun). I was told that anyone may come and stay at no charge but be warned the monks will know if you are really meditating or not.

Buddhist monks rely on the kindest of their fellow man for sustenance. There is a building nearby at the bottom of the hill where pilgrims often come (from all over) to stay a day or two and provide food for the monks staying there. Otherwise the monks will hit the streets and beg for alms. There is no stigma to this as everyone knows that the wisdom seekers are merely seeking assistance on their path to enlightenment. Most are more than willing to assist.

Polonnaruwa & Pachyderms (North Central Province, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 23^rd, 2009 - Another day. Another ancient city. This time, Polonnaruwa. It too is over a thousand years old. A South Indian King (King Vijayabahu I) made this his capital after conquering Anuradhapura, deeming it less susceptible to attack than Anurad. Also, there were apparently less mosquitoes.

Like Anurad this also is an intriguing place. Upon entering the area I was approached by a man offering his guide services. I reluctantly acquiesced ushered upon my hog. So I spent a couple hours driving from site to site with a small Sinhalese man on the back of my bike. The bike’s height proved to be quite an obstacle for Maxie as he mounted and dismounted my royal steed. Although it was nice to have a guide (at the very least he expedited my movement through the ruins) the fact is many of these Johnny-on-the-spot guides are little more than regurgitating robots. 

I am glad I could help him out but unfortunately it was difficult to understand much of what he said. He spoke rapidly in heavily accented English. A typical explanation would go like this:

‘Here is the Temple Sacred Tooth Relic built by King Blahblahnanhananna in year one thousand ninety five. Buddha something something something Hindu architect something something something carve stone something something something elephants something something something Indian invasion something something something largest stone carved book in Sri Lanka something something something moonstone something something something guard stone something something something. If you want to take picture with flash it is okay.’

I may be a little fuzzy on the history but the place is well worth a look. The civilization these people created and the advanced characteristics of it are staggering. We are fortunate that the sites are still in such relatively good condition.

Sigiriya & Dambulla (Matale District, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 24^th, 2009 - Today I drove to Sigiriya, a large rock (hardened magma from an extinct volcano) with the ruins of an ancient palace (or is it a monastery?) situated atop its flat surface. The walk to the rock takes you across a moat and a series of ancient gardens. At the base you must begin a semi-arduous climb up a series of metal staircases. The path leads through a small cave containing some well preserved ancient fresco paintings.

Before making the final ascent to the top you pass the remnants of what once was a gigantic stone lion carved into the side of the rock. The stairs lead directly through Simba's mouth. Today, however, only the paws remain.
The 1.6 hectares at the summit once contained a series of buildings, of which only the foundations remain today. Although touted by the locals (and Wikipedia for that matter) as an ancient palace/fortress recent scholarship points in the direction of a monastery, not a royal residence. When you visit everything is labeled as the former, crediting the 'palace' construction to King Kassapa back in the 5th century AD. Nothing like an archeological hissy spat to get the juices flowing. I’d be lying if I said the uncertainty has not kept me up nights.

Interesting enough there are a few colonies of wasps that have taken residence on the side of the rock fairly close to the staircase. Apparently this can be a real problem at times and has even been cause for prohibiting people from climbing. It seems a couple of weeks ago a large group of Chinese tourists were victims of the wasps’ wrath and many went to the hospital as a result. That’ll ruin your vacation. Is it depraved to think that from a distance it was probably funny to witness? Yes, I suppose it is.

Knuckles & Kandy (Kandy District, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 27^th, 2009 – After departing Dambulla I headed due south to Kandy, the last capital of the ancient kings of Sri Lanka. It is here you will find The Temple of the Tooth, a royal complex that supposedly houses the Relic of the tooth of Buddha. A glimpse of Buddha's bicuspid (or is it a molar?) is right up there with Jesus' eyelash, Mohammed's nose hair, Gandhi's toenail, and a piece of Moses' appendix on my bucket list of Sacred Body Fragments I need to see.

The morning after my arrival I set out for a drive through the Knuckles Mountain Range as I heard it was well worth a look. Simone (the female owner of my hotel) was kind enough to suggest a route and a place to explore along the way. The drive was excellent. 

Winding mountain roads, hillside tea plantations, and very few people. It is not exactly the Himalayas but it is picturesque none the less. There is a place on a small plateau to stop and hike to a fairly significant drop (it is known as mini-World’s End) and a excellent view of the valley below.

Unfortunately, I had a casualty: my sunglasses. Someone or something purloined them. It was either mischievous monkeys or a misguided Sri Lankan teenager. My money is on the latter. He was with a group of his family members and must have committed the act while I was snapping pics for my photographic ego session with my camera’s timer. I left the glasses near my shirt which were never out of sight for more than a couple of minutes. I cannot be a 100% sure but I would certainly bet a significant amount of money on it. I approached the family while they were having a picnic and asked if anyone found my glasses, to which I received a negative reply. Bastard.

Horton Plains & World's End (Nuwara Eliya Distrcit, Sri Lanka)

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Onwards and downwards, south to the town of Nuwara Eliya from where one might visit Horton Plains and World’s End if one were so inclined. Horton Plains is an undulating misty plateau of rocky outcrops, sweeping grasslands, and patches of fairly dense forest. It comes to a dramatic 880 meter (2887 feet) conclusion known as World’s End. Beautiful, mystical, and a little bit eerie, at least if you have the place to yourself (I did, for the most part).

Throw in a picturesque waterfall and you have an excellent morning. My timing was good because as I was leaving folks started piling in. A crowd will certainly destroy the spiritual vibe of the place so anybody going should get there early. 

The weather in the surrounding area has been abysmal and I thought I was certain to see nothing but a gray wall of mist where a beautiful landscape should be. As the half day trip set me back close to $60 my mood that morning was becoming as foul as the weather. Thankfully, the mist does not roll into World’s End until later in the morning.

It is $15 entrance fee, $2.50 for the vehicle, 40 cents for the driver, and $8 for a service charge. Have I mentioned the service charge? Still have no clue what the hell it is suppose to cover. Vehicle charge? As soon as you enter the gate you have to get out and walk. 40 cents is the charge for Sri Lanka residents. Why not just make it free so disgruntled tourists like myself do not have to wonder why Johnny Tourist has to pay a fee thirty seven times the national rate? And I hate to beat a dead horse but include the service charge in the entrance fee so I am not forced to ponder the mystical nature of the ‘service’ being afforded me.

Where Butterflies Go To Die (Adam's Peak, Sri Lanka)

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Aug 31st, 2009 - Nuwara Eliya in my rear view. Adam's Peak in my cross-hairs. Made my way to the small village of Dalhousie from where I would make my ascent to one of the holiest sites in  Sri Lanka. Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and Christians all have a stake in this mountain. Also known as Sri Pada, 'Sacred Footprint', the small rock formation at the summit is reputed to be the place where Adam, Buddha, or Shiva (depending your affiliation) left his divine print.

However, my favorite appellation is Samanalakande (‘Butterfly Mountain’), the place where butterflies go to die. I believe it is much more fitting at this time of year considering the weather and complete lack of people. Butterfly Mountain has been a place of pilgrimage for over a thousand years. The season runs from December to May and can get absurdly busy when the devout line the trail. This is not a problem at this time of year where you are almost guaranteed to be one of only a few folks on the mountain. Unfortunately, there is high probability that you will get a superb view of the inside of a cloud.

I arrived in Dalhousie fairly early in the afternoon so I decided to do a bit of meandering. Per the advice of a local I went out in search of a waterfall. Ever wander through a Sri Lankn tea plantation (without permission) situated on a lake in an attempt to get a photo of a dramatic water fall on the other side of said lake? Highly recommended. Tea plantations are rather picturesque plots of land, especially when adjacent to a lake. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon. I have a feeling the local denizens do not see many white folk on motorcycles come cruising along the small roads that weave within the plantation.

Arugam Bay & Vicinity (Eastern Province, Sri Lanka)

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Sept 2^nd, 2009 - I finally arrived at Arugam Bay via Pottuvil, a few kilometers to the north. Most of the tourists that make their way here are surfer types as this is reputed to be the best surfing in Sri Lanka. From what I have read it is best suited for the beginner to intermediate level crowd. Although tempted I decided not to partake. I've been surfing once in my life and spent most of my time attempting not to drown. I very much want to learn but unless I am willing to devote a few weeks to the enterprise I'd rather spend my time elsewhere.  From the moment I entered Arugam Bay I realized this is not a place I'd really like to dawdle for an extended period time. The surrounding area is worth exploring but it does not rate high my Dawdle Meter.

The town of Arugam Bay is nothing more than a ramshackle group of huts and hotels (more like guesthouses) along a dirt road. Pretty is a not a word that comes to mind. Actually, the place is kind of a mess but considering this was the site of some significant 2004 tsunami damage I suppose that is to be expected. It is a bit of a shame that folks were not a little more careful about how and where shops and guesthouses were resurrected but it is nice to see that the place made a comeback. The government is in the process of upgrading the roads in the area so I have a feeling the place may look very different in a few years.

After inspecting a number of guesthouse/hotels I finally settled down at the Surf n' Sun. A nice place with a mellow vibe. If you have a little extra cash it is worth a look but it, like all the accommodation in the area, is a tad overpriced. In fact everything in Sri Lanka is more expensive than one might think. This is no doubt due in no small part to taxes, inflation, war, increased demand, etc. My room was about $20 US sans hot water. The restaurant was hardly a bargain as well. Too much bitching? Perhaps. Anyone been there? Tell me what you think.

Yala National Park (Southern & Uva Provinces, Sri Lanka)

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Sept 5th, 2009 - Arugam Bay to Tissamaharama. The road from Buttala to Tissa is a nice pleasant Sri Lankan country road sprinkled with army foxholes every hundred meters (I would love to take photos but I wish to avoid the business end of an AK-47). If I you throw a rock in the region you'll probably wound a soldier. 

The road runs along Yala National Park and in the past there were problems with insurgents in the area. In fact, at one point the LTTE moved into the national park and peppered the road with explosives. All I know is I felt a little like I was driving along the front line. You can tell the trees and brush have been cleared on both sides of the road in order to improve visibility. The park is open for viewing but security checkpoints still decorate the landscape.

Yala was the reason for my visit to this particular area. Yala National Park is 979 square kilometers of scrub, light forest, grassy plains, and brackish lagoons. Elephants, leopards, crocodiles, wild boars, honey bears, monkeys, mongoose, peacocks and many other types of birds populate the park. Like the book says its not Kenya but it is worth the trip. As always entering a Sri Lankan National Park is not cheap but who wants to hear me ramble on about that …..again.

Marakolliya Beach (Southern Province, Sri Lanka)

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From Tissamaharama to Marakolliya Beach. I've encountered my Sri Lankan paradise and it sits along the southern coast on a perfect beach. If you ever make your way here you must check out Mangrove Garden and Cabanas (www.beachcabana.lk). Owned and managed by a German woman (Miriam) it is a truly special place. Leaving may be problem. I have not worn a shirt since I arrived. I am sure there are more beautiful beaches but I have yet to see them.

The incessant crashing of the waves is music to my ears and although the beach is not really suitable for swimming for me it is perfect. Nothing like getting thrashed by an ocean wave to get the blood pumping. The trick is to let the wave take you off your feet and then recover into a subtle jog as it brings you across the sand. While playing what I like to call ‘tsunami’ (probably not the most politically correct name considering where I am) I am prone to bouts of maniacal laughter. Sure I have wet sand in every crevice of my body but this is a small price to pay for zany fun.

Marakolliya Beach Continued (Southern Province, Sri Lanka)

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Sept 8th, 2009 - I suppose you know you are enjoying yourself when you deem creating a seashell mosaic in the sand an efficient use of your time. There is no getting around it: Marakolliya Beach is exquisite. Perhaps others would disagree but at the very least they would have to concede that it is special. Then again, who the hell am I, really? 

The incessant crashing of the waves has a way of putting me in a catatonic state (with the help of a hammock). To snap out of it I hurl myself into a semi-ferocious wave or two thereby filling my pockets and my hair full of sand. More maniacal laughter ensues. The funny thing is, I am not the kind of person who enjoys wandering an empty beach for days on end and staring blissfully into a not so calm sea…….by myself. I am usually tapped out after a day. Must be something about this place. 

I eat a lot to keep up my strength (just in case I actually need any). There is a lot of fresh seafood to include prawns, calamari, butterfish, and who knows what else. It feels good to really eat again. Perhaps I can get back some of the pounds I lost in Indonesia. 

Yesterday, I went for a two hour walk. On the way I passed what is purported to be a sea turtle sanctuary. It is in a sad state. The beach in the area was littered with the remnants of turtle eggs. I even caught a gargantuan lizard (had to be at least four feet in length) raiding one of the egg hatching dens. They may want to hire a few more folks although I have a sneaking suspicion the job is voluntary. Unfortunately, I did not see any volunteers in the area. Too bad because those turtles need all the help they can get. 

Not so many chickens here so mornings are free of the relentless cock-a-doodle-do. There are, however, a rather large number of black crows, or ravens if you will. At times it feels a little bit like I am being haunted by the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe. How ever shall I endure?

Galle (Southern Province, Sri Lanka)

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Sept 12^th, 2009 - I did it. I pulled myself away from la playa de mis suenos (the beach of my dreams.....I think). It was not so easy but I suppose I will manage. I then drove to another beach area known as Unawatuna. Not nearly as impressive. The tsunami decimated this area as well. Unfortunately, when hotels were rebuilt they were literally put right on the beach. It is a shame because the place could be remarkable but as it stands there is barely any room to maneuver especially at high tide. Attention to ascetic detail is nonexistent.

I did stay one night in the area but spent almost no time on the beach. Instead I have been letting my remaining hours drift by in the in town of Galle. The fort town of Galle is a Unesco World Heritage site and was originally built by the Dutch in 1663. The streets of the old town are filled with dilapidated colonial architecture, shops, boutiques, small hotels, and a mosque. Laid back. Quiet. Subdued. Charming. Not a bad place to lose a couple of days. I’ve meandered my way through town and along the fort walls and have thoroughly enjoyed every moment. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in Sri Lanka because this place is unlike all the others I have visited. Stare at the lighthouse from a rooftop café or into the ocean from the edge of the wall. Yes, there are worse places. This is not the place to start your trip but a superb way to end it.

Check This (Leaving Sri Lanka)

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Sept 14, 2009 - I am sorry to say that my trip ended as inauspiciously as it began (luckily the in-between part was tremendous). The morning was interesting. My ride to the airport was a tuk tuk with a sound system probably a third of the value of the tuk tuk itself. The driver kept it 'for shisel my nisel' with a little rap ditty straight from the hood……..yo. We made our way to the airport to the beat of, ‘Don’t know about you my nigga but the streets been good to meeeeeeeeee…..Don’t know about you my nigga but the streets been good to meeeeeeeee.’ Reminds me of my youth on the tough and gritty streets of Upstate New York.

That was fine. In truth it put me in a rather good mood. I even thumped a little with a member of the military at a check point on the way to the airport. As he checked the driver’s ID we bounced. Don’t know about you my nigga but the streets been good to meeeeeeeeee. Excellent.

And then I checked in and it all went to hell in a hand basket. Up until this point I’ve been getting by (one might say miraculously) without having to check my bag. In fact I’ve been on numerous flights (including the one from Kuala Lumpur to Colombo on Air Asia) without even getting a second glance. I have also had no problem (with a bit of reorganization of course) with fitting my stuff in the over head compartment. Don’t know about you my nigga but the streets been good to meeeeeeeeee. Honeymoon over.

For the first time they decided to actually weigh my bag (20 kg). Subsequently, I received the ‘tough titty said the kitty to the big brown cow’' look. The limit for a carry-on bag is 7 kg. I himmed. I hawed. I played the drama queen. I explained that I had flown Air Asia five times in the last three months (actually two but who is counting) and had no problem. After all, they let me on the plane in Kuala Lumpur, right?. The guy came close to calling me a liar but I convinced him of the truth when I invited him to look up my flight to Colombo to see if I checked a bag (I should have been a lawyer). I told them I could not afford to lose my bag, that I was traveling the world with few items that were indispensable (computer, camera lens, etc.). I tried to emphasize the ‘up shit creek scenario’ I would face if I lost my bag. We laughed. We cried. Emotions ran high. I had better chance of bringing the Rock of Gibraltar on board. Don’t know about you my nigga but the streets been good to meeeeeeeeee.