Two, If by Polo Vivo (Johannesburg, South Africa)

March 26^th, 2011 (January 2011) - Mali in our rear view mirror. South Africa in our sights. We had an overnight delay in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia where we believed we'd be spending a long night at the airport. Nope. Ethiopian Airlines had other plans. Instead, they arranged for a room and provided transport at no charge. Ahhhhhhh. There was something so soothing about our brief experience in Ethiopia. Everyone we met (airport, immigration, hotel, etc.) was extremely welcoming and friendly. If not for our connecting flight we would have lingered a bit. Next time I suppose.

Our arrival in Johannesburg was not so auspicious. Rain. A shit ton of rain. Yes, it was the rainy season but we were to discover that South Africa was receiving abnormally elevated levels of rainfall for that time of year. Perfect. Had we done a little research we would have discovered this fact. We had not felt even a drop rain while in Mali. I kind of missed the rain....like the desert misses the rain. I like rain. Actually, I love the rain....except when it starts to reach Biblical proportions. Then its kind of a pain in the ass.

Johannesburg to Kosi Bay (Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa)

March 28^th, 2011 (January 2011) – It took a little while to get used to driving….again. The driving lane, gear box, and steering wheel are on the wrong side (as opposed to America where everything is on the 'right' side.*). Throw in Johannesburg traffic, nonfunctioning robots (i.e. traffic lights), and a general feeling of confusion for a relatively stressful driving experience. Builds character.

Getting around Jo'burg is a pain in the ass. Why? Well, when you design a city with apartheid in mind you tend to layout a series of semi self-contained areas with no real center, notwithstanding the business district which you don't want to visit anyway. As a result I saw more Western-style malls than I could have anticipated (every area needs a shopping hub). I found this to be both surprising and a little unsettling. It felt a little like I was somewhere between Tampa and Orlando. I also spent way more time at the mall than I am comfortable with (i.e. any time at all) but it was a necessary evil and it did make locating camping paraphernalia a bit more expedient.

We first headed north to an area known as 'The Cradle of Humankind', a World Heritage Site swimming in ancient history. There was also supposedly some sort of rhino and lion park where one can allegedly frolic with baby lions….if one were in to such an enterprise….which I am clearly not on account of how cool I am….which is entirely too cool for such childish endeavors. Unfortunately, we could find no where to camp in the area. We did locate a few bible retreats and a campsite that was inexplicably closed. Probably just as well because we stopped there for lunch and I almost got my ass kicked by a group of Vervet monkeys (with their signature blue balls) seemingly hell bent on confiscating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is why feeding animals is a terrible idea. They turn into aggressive assholes. And they purloin sandwiches. Diabolical.

Medical Tourism (Istanbul, Turkey)

March 2011 - After Victoria Falls it all started to wind down. We returned to Kasane in Botswana to purchase a return flight to Maun where we would once again hop into Sparky and make our way back to Johannesburg. We loitered a couple extra nights in Kasane so we could relax in the lap of luxury at an upmarket hotel for a spell. It was swell.

Once back in Johannesburg we procured lodging close to the airport for the sake of expediency. We spent a few days tying up some loose ends to include giving Sparky a bath and purchasing airfare. While waiting at the car wash for our car to be cleaned the owner struck up a conversation dripping with racism. The country is overrun with them. We used to play in the streets as kids until they took over. You can't trust any of them. In lieu of getting murdered she and her family are headed to Botswana. Alrighty. We just met this woman. I cannot quite explain why she felt so comfortable bearing her soul to complete strangers. This was not the first instance of such behavior. I guess people have no problem sharing as we are all clearly on the same 'team'.

We left most of our gear at the bed & breakfast in hopes that someone would find a use for our stuff (dinnerware, cooler, gas stove, etc.). Someone was either really excited or really irritated by the yard sale we left behind. We packed up Sparky for the last time and headed to the Avis airport office for what we thought might be a struggle of epic proportions. Over the course of two months we'd involved three separate Avis offices in our shenanigans and switched vehicles in the process. Too much paperwork. Too many employees involved. Too much confusion. And since we'd exceeded our allowable kilometers we were prepared to take it right in the stinker. Much to our surprise the return went smoothly and although we did have some overage payments in the end the representative with which we dealt was courteous, competent, and reasonable. She even waived a few of the charges in light of our constant struggle with Avis over the course of our journey. Ahhhh....refreshing.