Mayhem & Sesriem (Namib-Naukluft National Park, Namibia)

April 27^th, 2011 (February 2011) – I suppose the most accurate way to describe Sesriem is with the word ‘settlement’ if by settlement I mean a petrol station and a few tourist lodges. It is a gateway to the Namib-Naukluft National Park, home to the world’s largest and most impressive sand dunes. Trust me when I tell you this is a place you want to visit.

Should you desire to stay inside the park you have two options, both operated by Namibian Wildlife Resorts (NWR). There is the Sesriem Camp Site or the ultra-swanky Sossus Dune Lodge. We went with door number one.  There are other options outside the park but only folks staying within the park’s boundaries can reach the dunes in time for sunrise. You want to reach the dunes in time for sunrise. The main gate (leading to the actual park gate) opens a bit later for the general public. Exclusivity is part of the appeal, especially in regards to the Sossus Dune Lodge. One must be careful. Exclusivity can sometimes lead to assholesivity.

After setting up camp we hopped in the Spark for a leisurely drive inside the park (rhyming was incidental). From Sesriem there is a 65 km road leading through a desert dreamscape consisting of salt/clay pan surrounded by large dunes. And at the end of the road lies Sossusvlei, the cherry on the proverbial surrealistic sundae.  Ever want to frolic in a painting?

Dune 45 (Sossusvlei, Namib-Naukluft National Park, Namibia)

April 29^th, 2011 (February 2011) – Dune 45 is so named due to its location 45 kilometers from Sesriem along the road in Namib-Naukluft National Park. It is one of the most accessible dunes and sits very near to the road. We went for an exhausting jaunt a good way up the 150m of good ole Dune 45 in the evening on the day of our arrival in order to catch a glimpse of the sunset. The clouds foiled our sunset aspirations but the view was anything but disappointing. Besides, the sunrise on the following morning more than made up for it.

The Namib Desert is f***ing ridiculous. It just is. If the place does not impress you than I submit that you suck. It really is that simple. Judgmental? Sure, but say that after visiting. I will admit that if your experience is nothing more than a shuttle bus spectacular during the busy season than perhaps a jaded reaction might be understandable. Maybe. But then again you visited one of the most dazzling sights on the planet in a shuttle bus with folks possessing an excitement level on par with bubble gum flavored bubble gum. Sorry to inform you that you do, in fact, suck.  Don’t like my conclusion? Tough titty said the kitty to the big brown cow. I believe it impossible to over use that phrase, especially during a serious conversation.

We arose before the sun, brewed up some lifeblood (i.e. Nescafe Expresso), mounted Sparky, and jetted off to meet the day atop Dune 45. I think it imperative to enunciate ‘Dune 45’ in a similar manner to the way many folks effusively pronounce the malt liquor Colt 45. Dune forty-FIVE!!!!...AH!!! It just feels right. So we waited atop Dune 45 for Mr. Helios to grace us with his presence. We were not alone but the summit was anything but crowded. And in this instance it was nice to have some fellow travelers with which to savor the moment and give the scenery some perspective.