844 days, 20,256 hours, 1,215,360 minutes, or 72,921,600 seconds. That is the approximate duration of my world tour. I never wanted it to end and now, in a manner of speaking, I suppose it never has to. If you wish to go by country do so by clicking on one above. They are numbered in the order I visited them, more or less. If you enjoy reading about it even a tenth as much as I enjoyed living it then you will not have wasted your time. Grab a refreshing beverage, settle in a comfortable chair, and make a journey across the world, experiencing it as I did. Then get off your ass and check it out for yourself. You're not getting any younger.

Maze World – Home of the Gay Labyrinth (Berlin, Germany)

Aug 29th, 2010 – While meandering aimlessly about the streets of Berlin I happened upon a rather queer (as in odd or strange) sight. As I came to a quick halt I suddenly realized I was standing on the threshold of a whole new world, a Maze World to be precise. This was not just any world but a really, really gay one. Does it get much gayer than an erotic fun house for homosexual men? I don't think it does.

What really grabbed my attention was the 'Gay Labyrinth'. WTF is a gay labyrinth? I found this intriguing enough to snap a photo but fell short of embarking upon an investigation. By being straight I am not only missing out on the labyrinth I do not get to enjoy the Dark Room, Cruising Club, Private Cabine, SM Corner, and Erotik Shop. Damn my heterosexual curse!! Luckily, Fridays are 'Bi-Days'. I assume this means women are allowed? Try as I might I was unable to locate a straight labyrinth anywhere in the city. Maybe in Hamburg.

I don't care if you are gay, straight, or trisexual this shit is funny. This is basically a place for gay men to run around aimlessly pounding other strange men in the dark. That's just filthy. And not because its gay. Would this place be any less sordid if the labyrinth were hetero? No, no it would not. Do guys just wander in and start spanking the first dude they happen to bump into? Do you walk out having no clue as to the identity of the gentleman that just punched your donut?

I noticed in the 'Jobs' section of the website (I used Google Chrome to translate) they are offering 400 euros for part-time work ('easy cash activities'). Requirements? Friendly, honest, and flexible. Shall I infer quotes around 'flexible'? Does flexible imply not only a state of physical bendiness but also a willingness to undertake any task? I would have to draw line at cleaning the labyrinth without a Hazmat suit. I have my standards.


Google Earth is simultaneously amazing and disturbing. Is it more disturbing that you can do this with Google Street View or that I took the time to locate Maze World with it? Close call.



5 comments:

  1. For someone who's supposedly straight you seem very fascinated with what gays get up to. As a traveller visiting one of the most sexually liberated cities on earth it's a shame all you can find to do is take the p*ss out of lifestyles that are different to yours.

    If you think it's filthy then the answer is simple - stay out and mind your own business. Anyway you're clearly either a closet or sexually repressed - either way your attitudes are not welcome in Berlin.

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    1. Okay then. Tell me how you really feel. I was not taking the piss out of a lifestyle. I was taking the piss out a particular establishment, the existence of which entertains the hell out of me. And if it were 100% hetero I would still find it immensely entertaining. Yes, I would. I guess that makes me a raging asshole. Maze World in no way offends my delicate sensibilities. If consenting adults want to roam around in a dark corridor and have naughty time then have at it. Personally, I find shlacking complete strangers in the shadows a tad unseemly, ill-advised, and medically contraindicated. Again, apparently this makes me a raging asshole. Maybe I just need to let my hair down and live a little. If I agree to be whipped with a wet noodle while suspended upside down from the ceiling in Maze World's SM Corner will you cut me some slack? Please.

      No repression here my friend. If I thought for a second I was attracted to sausage I would run with it. Problem is the thought of punching another man's donut (I see myself more as a pitcher type) repulses me, not because I am prejudice but because I am straight. Is it not true that some gay men find the thought of vagina sex distasteful? Does that make them bigots? I should think not. Even if I was gay I would not be exploring my butt dart fantasies at Maze World. Does that make me a prude? Uncool? Prejudice?

      Be gay. Don't be gay. I could not give a rat's ass. As far as I'm concerned homosexuals should have all the same rights and privileges ascribed to everyone else. Give me a petition. I'll sign. What I will not do is censor my thoughts simply because something I find humorous offends you. Get a grip and lighten up. Some shit is still funny whether you agree or not. Yes, it is.

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    2. I like the way this "Berliner" person attacked your attitudes and what they saw as you taking the piss out of different lifestyles, but then used the concept that you might be gay yourself as an attack against you, perpetuating the "gay = bad" prejudice we see all over the internet.

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    3. I like the way this "Berliner" person attacked your attitudes and what they saw as you taking the piss out of different lifestyles, but then used the concept that you might be gay yourself as an attack against you, perpetuating the "gay = bad" prejudice we see all over the internet.

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    4. @graspee, "Berliner" didn't use "the concept that you might be gay yourself as an attack against you"- he used the concept that you might be closeted (you know, like Larry Craig and so many of those other Republican politicians who are so opposed to gay rights) against you. It's the whole closeted thing that's so distasteful...

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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim