I See Dead People (Trunyan - Bali, Indonesia)

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The second half of the day was an altogether different experience. At the risk of sounding melodramatic I have to provide a warning about these next photos. Some of you may find them rather disturbing. 
On the previous afternoon Nymoan spoke to me about the people across the lake (insert eerie music here) who reside in the village of Trunyan.

The residents are reputed to be descendants of the Bali Aga, the original inhabitants of the island that predate the arrival of Hinduism. They are well-known for, among other things, their unique ‘burial’ methods, which is to say no methods at all. Bodies of the recently deceased are merely placed on the ground in the ‘cemetery’ to decompose naturally. The dearly departed are first laid within a bamboo enclosure and allowed to decay slowly.

When the process reaches a certain stage or if more space is required (I was told there is room for eleven bodies at a time in separate bamboo pens) the bones are placed in a pile adjacent to the enclosures until most of the flesh has rotted away and the bones are relatively dry. When all the flesh has dissolved they stack the bones in the designated area, lining up the skulls in a nice neat row.

The Russians (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 1^st, 2009 - The Russians are following me. You may remember the quartet (two guys and two girls) from my rafting trip. I have run into them randomly on two more occasions since that outing. I am currently in central Bali (Lake Bratan to be exact) and last night they showed up at my hotel. I think they’re KGB. One of the females is trying to beguile me with her smile, lure me in, and kill me in my sleep. I’m sure of it. But I’m onto them. Maybe I’ll sleep under my bed just in case.

Danau Bratan & Pucak Mengu (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 2^nd, 2009 – Spent the night near Bedugul and awoke early this morning to see Pura Ulun Danu Bratan, located on the shore of Lake Bratan. It is a famous temple dedicated to Dewi Danu, the Balinese water goddess. Pilgrimages and ceremonies are held here to ensure a steady supply of water for farmers all over Bali.  The temple is one of the most photographed structures on the island. I went early to avoid the onslaught of tourists. It was pleasant but it would have been nice to have a sunrise to go along with it. Damn the wet season. I blame Dewi.

Later, I went for what I thought would be a fairly easy climb up a small mountain (Mengu) running eastward alongside Lake Bratan. It turned out to be quite grueling and I doubt many people have been up that path in some time. Of course it rained and everything was wet and slippery but I did enjoy it none the less. At the top was a small temple, Pura Puncak Mengu. As I saw no one on the way up or on top it was actually pretty rewarding. The temple was covered in a light mist which when combined with the rain was a bit ethereal. Going solo made all the difference.

I am not the only occupant in my room. I left some food on the counter and when I returned some of it had been moved and some of it was missing. They took the pastry and left the peanuts. I am guessing rats, rats with discriminating tastes.

Tomorrow back to Ubud. No sign of the Russians.

Not Alone (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 3^rd, 2009 - I moved a candy bar and the peanuts to a coffee table across the room in my guesthouse. I also put some wrappers beneath a glass (no trash barrel in room) to avoid attracting my companions. Didn't work. They actually moved the glasses all the way across the bar and scattered the wrappers. I guess they just wanted to huff the wrappers to get a fix and move on. They got into the peanuts also but only picked at them a little. Finicky bastards. Back to Ubud. Still no sign of the Russians.

I have probably mentioned it a few times but it has been raining cats and dogs for days. Luckily, I am in rest mode so it is not a big deal but I hope it lets up soon. The bones from Trunyan are probably washing into the lake as we speak.

Rainy Rain Rain (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 4^th, 2009 - Today it rained . . .again. That combined with the general vibe permeating Ubud and vicinity is like having a constant flow of tranquilizers pumped into your bloodstream (Author’s Note: Doesn’t help that I was slightly anemic at the time). Naps are involuntary. I am attempting to work out my visa situation as I currently possess a 30 day visa on arrival. I could keep extending month by month here but that is a bit of a hassle and technically illegal. Looks like I will fly to Singapore and obtain a two month social-cultural visa from the embassy there. That is extendable for up to four months inside Indonesia. I should have obtained this visa from the embassy in DC but I did not know if I would be here for that long. I spent today trying to arrange this. Still working……

Tonight I went to a traditional Balinese dance performance known as the Kecak Fire Dance. It was interesting but like an idiot I forgot my camera. I will probably go again tomorrow. My schedule is fluid. 

Pura Sebatu & Kecak (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 5^th, 2009 - Today I met up with Ketut again (see Jan 27th). He had offered to take me to a cremation ceremony and although I was hesitant at first my Bali Aga Death Extravaganza pushed me over the hump. I doubt this could be more morbid. Well, it didn’t happen. Apparently, there was a scheduling conflict with another ceremony so the cremation was postponed until Feb 14th. I am not sure I really understand that. Where is the recently deceased being stored?

Under a Banyan tree? How does someone not foresee the conflict? “Sorry, Wayan is just going to have to wait. The Harvest Spirit is pissed and we need to appease that ornery prick, pronto. We’ll torch your brother next week. Is the 14th good for you? Put him over there under the tree. And burn some incense, would ya?”

So instead I spent half the day hanging with Ketut. We drank coffee, ate a bit of lunch, and then he took me to a nearby temple for a look around. I am not templed out yet but I imagine I will get there. This happened to be a particular beautiful one so it was well worth my time. This particular temple was ‘functional’ as well. It has a badminton court.  Badminton is huge in Southeast Asia…..real huge.

Airport Journey (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 6th, 2009 - Today was nerve-racking, to put it mildly. I drove to the airport on my motorbike so I could buy a ticket to Singapore (need a new visa). I suppose I could have bought a ticket in town (Ubud) from an agent but I decided to skip the middle man. Online you say? I could not access the website. Anyway, have I mentioned the traffic? The road to the airport runs through Denpasar, the capital of Bali. Let’s just say traffic is a tad dense. Perhaps sparing myself the stress would have been worth a few extra bucks. However, I will treasure the experience (not really).

Every time I ride that bike I see something that confounds me. As I was headed back to Ubud a young guy actually drove up alongside me and tried to convince me to go somewhere or purchase something. I wasn’t really paying attention as I was trying to avoid serious bodily injury and/or death. I’ve had people chase me down before but not while I was doing 30 mph. I contemplated pulling off to the side and asking him what the hell he was doing but concluded my consternation would fly right over his head. Certain truths I believe to be self-evident, truths that cross all cultural boundaries. One of these truths is the dangerous nature of trying to hold negotiations while driving 30 mph on a motorcycle through traffic. Then again, what the f**k do I know....really?

Eat, Pray, & Love Ketut Liyer (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 9th, 2009 - Not all that much too report over the last few days. I have been basically planning my next move while flirting heavily with a possible motorcycle purchase. I came close to buying one but after doing research on the internet have decided against that particular bike. Apparently, there are reliability and safety issues. Sooo…no thanks. I may still opt for a brand new Honda Tiger. Grrrrrrrrrrr!! This is a popular Indonesian model. It is only 200cc so my pants will most certainly not catch on fire. However, that is about all the power you need here. Anything more is a waste.

Today had an interesting turn. I met a fellow by the name of Ketut Liyer. He is a Balinese medicine man, painter, woodcarver, and fortune teller (among other things). If any of you have read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert then you’ve been introduced to him before. In the Bali phase of her ‘one woman search for everything’ she spent a great deal of time with this gentleman and wrote about him in her book. She did a rather impeccable job of describing him, most notably in her comparison to Yoda. His resemblance to the little green sage is eerie, both physically and in regards to his mannerisms. The only thing lacking is the signature reversal of sentence order indicative of the Jedi master.

When I arrived at his family compound (traditional Balinese setup) he was busy with some other clients. While I waited I looked over some of the paintings and carvings on display. I was a bit hesitant to just drop in. From what Elizabeth wrote in her book and what I was told by some locals and fellow travelers he is a famous healer in Bali. People come from all over to seek his counsel. So here I am showing up unannounced in hopes of an ad-hoc palm reading. A woman staying at my hotel told me that when she went it was set up by a friend and that she wore a sarong, brought a traditional offering, and even purchased one of his paintings. I guess I hoped that just the mere presence the Exalted Goofy One (that would be me) would be sufficient. Thankfully, I was not expelled. By this time he had achieved a degree of fame due to the book so apparently he was accustomed to folks dropping by randomly.

Under The Red Umbrella (Singapore)

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February 12^th, 2009 - I 've been in Singapore for the last day and a half although it seems much much longer. Staying up for 36 hours tends to have that effect. I am really only here to get a longer visa so I can avoid a legally suspect monthly renewal in Bali. This one will be good for two months and will be renewable each month for another four. Yippee.

I am staying in a hostel for about $15 a night and, as you might expect, you get what you pay for. Dorm rooms, shared bathrooms (as in males and females), small toilets (taking a shit is nothing short of a circus performance), air con only at night, and usually a crowd in the kitchen area. It could be worse and it is only for a short time. The real positive is that you get to meet many people you would not normally meet. Last night I tossed a few drinks back with an American teaching English in Borneo and an Irish lad on his way to work in Australia. Can't find that at the Sheraton.

I did manage to get my visa in a cloak and dagger-esque fashion. I had to meet my 'guy' under the red umbrella at the MacDonalds next to the Hilton. Sounds shady but I guess it is legit (Author's note: Not really). At least he wasn't wearing a trench coat and carrying a briefcase. I suppose an office is just too much overhead, especially in a city as expensive as Singapore. That and what do you need an office for when you merely need to bribe the folks at the Indonesian Embassy and meet some dipshit willing to pay twice the price under the red umbrella at MacDonalds? I am that dipshit. However, keep in mind that when you factor in the normal three to five day waiting period at the embassy and lodging it works out about right. They know this. Wily.

Cremation Celebration (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 15th, 2009 - So yesterday I went to a cremation ceremony ..... sort of. It was more like a pregame warm up. In the end the only thing cremated was my ambition to watch a cremation ceremony. Before the ceremony I met my friend Ketut again. He not only informed about the ceremony but offered to accompany me.I arrived at his house for a bit of lunch and coffee before our departure. Unfortunately, I was subjected to a smidgeon of financial pressure. 

He wanted me to purchase some of his wood carvings, an issue he'd brought up more than once. Like before I told him I'd prefer to do so before I left Indonesia so I could avoid lugging them around. He claimed to understand but proceeded to present me with seven small carvings that had been sanded and stained, clearly for my benefit alone. He understood that I could not take them until I left Indonesia for good but he was hoping I could pay for them then and come get them when I was ready to leave.

He told me that his wife had done the work and was hoping for some compensation (The chorus to Queen's "Under Pressure" suddenly began resonating inside my head). He then informs me that his wife needs an operation, shows me an ultrasound image, and tells me the cost of the operation is five million rupiahs (around $440 US). Pressure pushing down on me, Pressing down on you no man ask for, Under pressure - that burns a building down, Splits a family in two, Puts people on streets............

Ubud Rotary Club (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 18^th, 2009 - Last night was bizarre. While in Ubud I have met a rather interesting fellow. His name is Cyrus. He lives in Manhattan, has published three books, is an expert on the art of writing eulogies, is half Iranian, so on and so forth. You get the picture. He has no trouble keeping up his end of the conversation. I am reading one of his books now (Farewell, Godspeed: The Greatest Eulogies of Our Time). It is a novel idea for a book and an extremely interesting read. I just finished Fidel Castro’s tribute to Che Guevara. But I digress. Cyrus recently spent a month visiting Iran and has some truly fascinating tales to tell. It was this trip that led to his invitation to speak at the Bali Ubud Rotary Club. Fortunately, I was invited along to hear him speak. What is the Rotary Club? Well, here you go:

'Rotary is a worldwide organization of more than 1.2 million business, professional, and community leaders. Members of Rotary clubs, known as Rotarians, provide humanitarian service, encourage high ethical standards in all vocations, and help build goodwill and peace in the world. There are 33,000 Rotary clubs in more than 200 countries and geographical areas. Clubs are nonpolitical, nonreligious, and open to all cultures, races, and creeds. As signified by the motto Service Above Self, Rotary’s main objective is service — in the community, in the workplace, and throughout the world.'

This meeting, held at a restaurant in Ubud, was brimming with odd right from the start. By chance both Cyrus and I are tall fellows and, on this night, both happened to be wearing black t-shirts. We do not look very similar but this did not prevent people from mistaking me for Cyrus on numerous occasions.

Phantom of the Honda (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 21^st, 2009 – I've been on a mission. My mission? To locate a motorcycle suitable for long distance travel in good working order. Mission accomplished. I am the proud owner of a 2005 Honda Phantom. It only cost a cool 22 million rupiahs. I bought it from an Indonesian woman who appears to be forthright and honest. 

What's not to trust about an Indonesia female 'hog' owner? We shall see. Although it has a bigger engine than the average motorcycle in Indonesia (200cc) I am fairly sure my body can hold up to the potential stress from g-forces. Not much opportunity to go fast on these roads anyhow and with the traffic situation it would be insanity to speed, insanity I tell you!!! (insert ominous echo effect here)

So now that I have the bike I need to accessorize, girlfriend! I need a cover, a front wheel lock, oodles of tools, a flux capacitor (its what makes time travel possible), two phasers, booster rockets, a rear mounted machine gun, martini mixer, and an exceedingly hot female double agent in padded leather for a sidekick.

This is turning into an enormous hassle and entails me driving all over trying to find these things. The bike is not that common here (made in Thailand) so it is a bit trickier to find what I am looking for even though there are Honda dealerships and parts shops everywhere. Dealerships do not sell accessories. Why would they? That would be downright stupid. So I guess it is back to Denpasar for more practice driving through an obstacle course, a course filled with Indonesians seemingly hell bent on testing my riding prowess.

Territorial Pissings (Ubud - Bali, Indonesia)

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I'm an idiot. Why? It is not because I quit my job without intention or desire to secure future employment in the midst of one of the worst economic downturns in US history or because I packed my shit and flew half way around the world with only a vague idea as to my how long I would be gone or where I would end up. No, no.

I'm an idiot because I thought it would be grand to buy a motorcycle and drive around as much of Indonesia as I could with little to no mechanical knowledge, a decidedly poor grasp of the local language, and a plan only slightly less vague then the one that brought me here in the first place.

Yet the very idea of executing this ill conceived scheme makes me giddy as a school boy. Do people actually say that? How about as giddy as a fairy with a fist full of pixie sticks on a gumdrop bridge under a cotton candy sky on his/her birthday? Are there male fairies? There must be.

'You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.'

- Colette, French novelist (1873 - 1954)

Leaving Las Ubud (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 27^th, 2009 - I need to get the hell out of Ubud but this place has seduced me. It is like a tranquilizer. Time has no significance. I did not realize how long it had been since my last update. Somebody save me (Actually, don't!). Meeting an attractive German woman does not exactly stimulate my motivation to perambulate. Go figure. What can I say? Waking up is a challenge and requires at least one nap to compensate me for my trouble.

I did manage to drive to Denpasar today to get supplies for my motorcycle. I've mentioned the traffic so I won't go there. It is amazing how something seemingly so simple, like trying to find a cover for my bike in a country with 1.3 bazillion motorbikes, could turn into a search for the Lost City of Gold. You would think that a Honda motorcycle dealership would sell accessories for motorcycles, right? Nuh-uh. Or maybe they would at least know where to find said accessories? Nuh-uh. I might as well as ask where to find spare parts for the Cassini spacecraft.

I did manage to find what I was looking for in the most obvious place: ACE Hardware Store. Duuuuuhhhhh. It is true what they say: ACE really is the place for your helpful hardware man. Huh. It was dazzling. In addition to motorcycle accessories they had everything you need to complete that home improvement project you've been putting off. Being in there made me want to build shit.

Gnaw On A Chicken Claw (Bali, Indonesia)

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March 1st, 2009 -Where to begin? A couple days previous I spent some quality time with my new Indonesia bros. They invited me to play soccer with them and some of their friends. I agreed . . . . reluctantly. Although I jumped at the chance to hang with the locals in a non-tourist setting the idea of playing soccer does not excite me. 

This is because my soccer ability is on par with my reservoir of mechanical knowledge. I suck. Bad. Lucky for me I never had the opportunity to showcase my footwork. This is where the Balinese version of the space-time continuum comes into play. If you are told you will leave at 6 pm, play at 8 pm, and be back by 10:30 pm it is to be interpreted as some sort of nebulous guideline subject to alteration.

After arriving at the indoor soccer facility at around 7:45 pm I was to learn that a court had been reserved for 10 pm. Super. As much as I relished the idea of sitting around for two hours watching others play soccer followed by an additional hour of me sweating profusely while simultaneously making a complete ass out of myself I was relived to hear that my compadres did not wish to hang around either.

So off to dinner we went. Their treat. They took me to a food stall down a side street in the tourist infested city of Kuta. As far as I could see it was locals only. They ordered for me and when the bowl of soup was placed before me I thought, Huh. That looks a lot like chicken feet in the bowl. Naaaaah. That can't be the foot of a chicken. Who the hell would eat that? Answer: I would. It is true. I popped my proverbial chicken claw soup cherry. How did it taste? How the f$%k do you think it tasted? Small bones wrapped in flesh. Yum. Actually, it was not all that bad. The flavor was nice but the texture...ehhhh, not so much. Maybe next time we can sample duck penis pate (not sure if it exists but my fingers are crossed).

Underbelly Bali (Black Magic, Indonesia)

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There is a darker side to the animism that is such an intricate part of Balinese culture. It's magic. Black magic. I am talking about curses, possessions, hexes, and a myriad of other phenomenon more befitting the likes of Haiti than the island of Bali. A month and a half here and I had not even the slightest inkling of this underbelly. I hate being clueless.

I was lucky enough to be invited to a dinner party by a German expatriate. In attendance was an Australian women that had been living here for over five years. She had quite a tale to tell.

At one point during her sojourn she suffered a terrible injury as a result of a motorbike crash. She veered off a bridge and crashed into the water below breaking her back in the process. Ouchie. While convalescing she enlisted the help of a local woman to assist in her recovery at home.

One night she claims to have witnessed the supernatural possession of her home aide in a manner fit for The Exorcist. After some Hollywood style contortions and a complete change in demeanor a 'new' woman emerged claiming to be a completely different person. So disturbing was this sequence that her husband was summoned to assist but upon seeing his 'wife' subsequently broke down into tears.

After the woman recovered a couple hours later (with no memory of the incident) she claimed to know exactly who had done this to her. No question about it. Her possession was orchestrated by an adversary and she knew who it was responsible. Payback time. (Duuum-duh-dum-duuum....duuuuuuummm!)

Immigration Enigma (Bali, Indonesia)

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March 5^th, 2009 - I saw a man on the road wearing a t-shirt that succinctly and unambiguously showcases his view on terrorism. Naturally, a picture was in order. I have yet to find a shop that sells them. I figured I would wear it all over Indonesia.

Bali Belly (Ubud, Indonesia)

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March 7^th, 2009 - Not so much to report as I have been in bed for the last day and a half due to illness. The locals call it 'Bali Belly'. Still a bit tired and I am patiently awaiting solid stool. Keep you posted. This may delay my departure from Ubud. It is almost as if there is an outside force preventing me from leaving. That's all I have. Time for a nap.

Outta Bed (Ubud, Indonesia)

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March 8^th, 2009 - Out of bed and ready to roll....sort of. Not 100% just yet but getting there. One less excuse to avoid leaving although I'm sure I'll find another. My Indo pal tells me he thinks my bike needs a tune up after taking it for a spin. I suppose third times a charm. Perhaps, I will visit every mechanic on the island before I leave just so I can at least have an aggregate opinion of how shitty my bike might be. 

The ladies (seventeen and nineteen years old) at the little restaurant where I eat breakfast have been referring to me as 'Mr. Handsome'. I thought it was a result of my devilish good looks. It turns out they forgot my name. A rather clever way to take the focus off the memory faux pas if i do say. So much for that ego trip.

I have noticed that Balinese woman, especially the ones advanced in years, tend to execute a large portion of the manual labor here. I once watched a woman of at least sixty five years try to push a wheel barrel with about five cinder blocks up a rather steep incline. For fun I kicked the wheel barrel over and laughed until I wet myself. Actually, I took over and finished the trip for her. I am ashamed to admit that I found it a bit heavy myself. I think she was ready to adopt me.

Kopi Luwak (Bali, Indonesia)

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March 10, 2009 – Drove my bike to the Honda dealership for a maintenance check . . . . . again, but they were already working at capacity for the day. It appeared I would be forced to return on the morrow. Luckily, annoyance turned to glee as my rejection was most fortuitous. After leaving the dealership in defeat I decided to console myself the only way I knew how, with a cup of coffee a la caca.

I am of course referring to Kopi Luwak , the coffee ground from beans that have passed through the intestines of the Asian Palm Civet. Shitty and delicious. Num-nummy.

It is billed as the most expensive coffee on the planet. A cup will run you anywhere from $30 to $100 US dollars depending on where you are in the world. I scored two small cups (8 grams) for $200,000 rupiahs ($18). Fifty grams of the beans cost $150 at the Kopi Bali House in Sanur, Bali.

What’s the verdict? Well, I do not possess a discriminating palate so I cannot say I was all that impressed. It tasted nice, a bit earthy with nary a hint of doodoo aftertaste. It certainly is potent (I was jittery for some time) but I am not sure it is really worth the price. What do I know? Nothing.

Go East Young Man (Bali, Indonesia)

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March 11^th, 2009 - I will finally leave Bali......probably. Miracles do happen. I am heading east to Nusa Tenggara, the arc of eastern islands that stretches toward northern Australia. Lombok will be the first stop. I am hoping to head straight to the base of Mt. Rinjani to begin a 3-5 day climb up the volcano but the beach may thwart my plan.  I am a little skittish about the climb since I've engaged in very little physical activity over the past month. I've gone south.

I am also a little skittish about leaving Bali. The adventure factor is a certainly diminished here but the ease of travel and worry free environment will be hard to beat. As I mentioned these are some of the nicest people I have ever come across. 

Gili Trawangan (Lombok, Indonesia)

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March 16th, 2009 - There is no escape from the inane rantings of Gallus gallus domesticus. Their timing sucks and they cock-a-doodle-doo their asses off from about 4 am to 10 am and sometimes all day just for shits and giggles. They are a force to be reckoned with. You cannot stop them. You can only hope to contain them....or nibble on their breasts with a side of fries and a cold beer.

So I am in Lombok, the Gili Islands to be precise. I was planning to head to Mt. Ringani straight away but as it turns out they will not start guiding climbs until at least the 26th of March. So to Gili Trawangan I have come. It is a fine place. 

No vehicles on the island, just bicycles and horse-drawn carts. This is definitely a good thing. Now if I could just start shooting the damn chickens the picture of peace and calm would be complete (Of course I jest. All creatures are beautiful....probably).

Island Vortex (Gili Trawangan, Indonesia)

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March Something, 2009 - What the hell day is it? Still on Gili Trawangan. I've been scuba diving my hindquarters off. My chosen dive shop, Dive Buddha, is excellent. Professional, laid back, and financially sensitive (They accept credit cards). Super. On any given day visibility is somewhere in the neighborhood of a 100-150 ft. Fortunately, they also have a tall dark Russian woman working as an instructor. Yes, this dive shop has it all. They provide lodging so all I need do is roll out of bed onto the dive boat. All dive sites are minutes away on the boat so there is no wasting time traveling from point to point.

I’ve seen all kinds of fish and coral I have yet to identify. If I return for my divemaster certification I will spend much of my time determining what the hell I am looking at. I have seen numerous octopi but they have all been a bit antisocial and refuse to come outside and cavort with me. It is possible (and not dangerous) to play with them a bit (if I can coax them out of their abode). I have also seen a close relative, the cuttlefish. Amazing creatures are these. They hover in one place and pulsate, often changing color instantly for camouflage. The octopus can do this as well. Damn cool. We have also spotted large Green Humphead Parrotfish. It is difficult to get close but the visibility is such that you can still get a decent peek even at a distance.

What else? The sunsets are quite nice, as one might expect. I am sure the sunrise is equally impressive but I have yet to drag my ass out of bed. I was hit again by another stomach ailment that screwed me up for days. Not sure what the problem is but it is starting to get on my nerves. A few beers in the Irish Pub here on St. Patrick’s Day probably did nothing to help my cause. Fucking leprechauns! I have recovered but my appetite has vanished for the most part.

Me vs. Titan Triggerfish (Gili Trawangan, Indonesia)

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I was attacked by a f^%;*ing Titan Triggerfish today. It hurted. The SOB got my wrist and took a chunk out of my finger. Little bastard. Another diver was pointing out a bumphead parrotfish and as I swam over to take a look I was ambushed by the trigger. Apparently, when they are nesting they are extremely territorial. Needless to say I will not make that mistake again.

When it first struck I thought one of the other divers was screwing with me. I turned to see said triggerfish swirling around me in a mad frenzy, at which point it went for my middle finger. I then began to thrash around like a lunatic until it backed off. Good times.

That was my afternoon. My morning was punctuated with the scariest moment I’ve had diving. We went to a place by the name of Shark Point (didn't see any) with a fairly robust current. This was a blast at first as I found myself somersaulting gayly in the underwater current. But not long after the thrill ride I unknowingly began to drift away from the gang. The visibility was bad and they were almost out of sight when I made an attempt to rejoin the ranks. Exerting yourself in a current 100 feet underwater and losing your breath provides an excellent path to freakoutville. I did see two of the guys looking around with the 'Where the hell is he?' expression. It was at this point that my ‘Oh shit’ meter began to flash. I thought that I was going for a ride by myself. Not really that big of deal because I knew that eventually they would find me. However, this did not prevent me from coming dangerously close to loosing my shit. If you panic underwater away from another diver you are pretty much ‘F’ for fucked. I narrowly avoided panic and one of the guys leading the dive corralled me in and brought me back to the group. Phewwww!

No Escape (Gili Trawangan, Indonesia)

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March 25th, 2009 - I’m trying to leave this island. I really am. Yesterday I bought a ticket for the boat to the mainland and last night I packed. I didn’t make it.....again. The spectacular dive I had this afternoon may have been influential. Fortunately, another diver brought along a camera and let the guide do the shooting. It was super. Super duper. That's me trying to hump a turtle (below).

We also spotted a Stonefish, a Leaf Scorpion Fish, a Moray Eel, and a species of nudibranch. No clue how the guide can spot Stonefish. They blend perfectly. The other day I spent three minutes looking directly at one before I realized what it was. Since they are also extremely poisonous it would be nice to be able to pick them out of a line up.

Ta-ta Trawangan (Lombok, Indonesia)

For a revised version of this post, go here.

March 26^th, 2009 - I did it. I got the f**k out of Dodge. I'm patting myself on the ass right now. It was not easy but I managed to pull myself away. Now I have to see a man about a mountain. Mt. Rinjani here I come. I am going to drive from Senggigi to a town called Senaru (near Bayan) where I will begin the ascent. Not sure how long all this will take but time will tell. It has been so long since I've driven the motorcycle I am hoping a) it will start; and b) that I have not forgotten how to drive. Cross your fingers. Cross your toes. What will happen who the f*%;k knows!!!

Mt. Rinjani (Lombok, Indonesia)

For a revised version of this post, go here.

March 30th, 2009 - Well, after all much ado I finally made it to Mt. Rinjani (12224 ft, 3726 m). Another day, another Indonesian volcano. If you climb something in Indonesia it will probably be a volcano. Actually, if you look in any direction on any of the major islands you can probably spot one. I fell in to a burning ring of fire.…..

I have to admit that the Rinj was a real bitch. G-G-Grueling. Of course, I was a touch under the weather......again. Why must it be so? I want one week of standard health. Is that so much to ask? I don't think it is.

It began with a fever (and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire), a fever I managed to quell slightly with about 800 mg of ibuprofen. I thought that would suffice . Nuh-uh. 

And I was plagued with a rather annoying bout of fatigue. That made the majority of the trip a real struggle. It felt exactly like hiking at higher altitudes, say above 10,000 feet where very step requires concentrated effort. It sucks. The problem is this was happening well below my usual threshold. In fact, I should not have felt it all on this mountain, except perhaps at the very top. But no. From the beginning I was ascending at a snail’s pace which, if I may be a bit immodest, is not the norm for me. If that was not enough much of the trail is covered with loose sand/pebbles making the ascent akin to walking up a sand dune. My ass hath been kicketh.

Kuta, Lombok (Indonesia)

For an updated version of this post, go here.

April 4^th, 2009 - I met an 84-year-old American gentlemen from Rochester, NY at the hotel in Senaru, Lombok. Rochester is four hours or so from where I grew up. Small, small world. 84-years-old? Seriously? Stupendous. I hope if I am lucky enough to live that long I can still be a globetrotting maniac. Crazy. I really wish I would have had time to speak with him longer but I was just leaving. I bet he has some stories. Guess I'm too busy writing my own.

Another detour. Getting sidetracked appears to be a hobby of mine. I was convinced to go to Kuta, Lombok before heading off to Sumbawa. The persuasive argument may have been in French. I’ll let you fill in the blanks. Best laid plans of mice and men. Kuta is a lovely place and the antithesis of the city with the same name in Bali. 

Kuta, Bali is an over-touristed wasteland of discotecs along side a dirty beach. Kuta, Lombok is quite the opposite. The majority of people who make their way here are surfers. The beaches are beautiful and for the most part empty. It is an excellent place to chill out. Too bad the vibe won’t last. They are building an international airport in nearby Praya. When completed this place will be transformed. I am glad I am able to see it now.