Singapore Airlines

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January 12^th, 2009 - So my actual flight itinerary is Orlando – San Francisco – Inchon – Singapore – Bali. Shoot me. Singapore Airlines is decent but the seats are designed for little Asian people. Perfect for lower back pain. I might be more comfortable if I stuffed myself in the overhead compartment. It really is almost impossible to guess an Asian woman’s actual age. I can narrow down most of them to somewhere between 16 and 60. I’ll tell you what is cool (literally) and that is the serving of ice cream sandwiches for lunch dessert. I don’t think I’ve ever had ice cream on an airplane. I’m a fan. There is nothing like being served a delicious ice cream sandwich by a petit Asian woman at 35,000ft. Nothing. They ought to work that into their ad campaign.

Phantom of the Honda (Bali, Indonesia)

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Feb 21^st, 2009 – I've been on a mission. My mission? To locate a motorcycle suitable for long distance travel in good working order. Mission accomplished. I am the proud owner of a 2005 Honda Phantom. It only cost a cool 22 million rupiahs. I bought it from an Indonesian woman who appears to be forthright and honest. 

What's not to trust about an Indonesia female 'hog' owner? We shall see. Although it has a bigger engine than the average motorcycle in Indonesia (200cc) I am fairly sure my body can hold up to the potential stress from g-forces. Not much opportunity to go fast on these roads anyhow and with the traffic situation it would be insanity to speed, insanity I tell you!!! (insert ominous echo effect here)

So now that I have the bike I need to accessorize, girlfriend! I need a cover, a front wheel lock, oodles of tools, a flux capacitor (its what makes time travel possible), two phasers, booster rockets, a rear mounted machine gun, martini mixer, and an exceedingly hot female double agent in padded leather for a sidekick.

This is turning into an enormous hassle and entails me driving all over trying to find these things. The bike is not that common here (made in Thailand) so it is a bit trickier to find what I am looking for even though there are Honda dealerships and parts shops everywhere. Dealerships do not sell accessories. Why would they? That would be downright stupid. So I guess it is back to Denpasar for more practice driving through an obstacle course, a course filled with Indonesians seemingly hell bent on testing my riding prowess.