Eddie & Indo (Slideshow a la Indonesia)

Surabaya & Introspection (Java, Indonesia)

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April 27^th, 2009 - I made it to Surabaya (Java) intact though grimy and a bit tired. I decided to splurge and get a nicer hotel room. It was an excellent decision and I am now so clean you could eat off me. Right next door to the Tunjungan Hotel (where I'm at) is the Tunjungan Plaza Shopping Center. What a place. I am not sure I have experienced such a profound sense of culture shock as I did when I entered this mall.

The contrast is not so much between my own culture and this one but between different areas of this country. My journey through Nusa Tengarra took me through small villages, farmland, shabby beach side warungs (food stalls), long stretches of deserted highway, twisted mountain roads, harbor towns, fish farms, and all the accoutrements of rural Third World island life. 

Most of these scenes were dominated by poverty and a very low standard of living. Suddenly I come to Indonesia’s second largest city and I find myself in a mall that rivals any I’ve seen in the First World. It was extremely difficult to wrap my mind around.

Mt. Bromo (East Java, Indonesia)

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I left Surabaya and headed east. Riding a motorcycle in and out of Indonesia’s second largest city was glorious. I treasured every second, especially the many seconds spent driving through the dirt on the side of the road in order to circumvent a retarded traffic jam. 

Or the seconds spent dodging a head on collision because the truck driver coming from the opposite way decided that I am on a motorcycle and could not possibly be stupid enough to maintain my rightful place in a lane specifically designated for people driving in my direction of travel. After a couple of hours I arrived in Cemoro Lawang, a tiny mountain village in eastern Java. 
Have I mentioned the volcanoes? Thank you, sir. May I have another? This time it was Mt. Bromo (2392m) in Bromo-Tengger-Semuru National Park. It’s so breathtaking you’ll think you’re asthmatic.

'Bromo is one of three volcanoes to have emerged from a vast crater, stretching 10km across. Flanked by the peaks of Kursi (2582) and Batok (2440), the steaming cone of Bromo stands in a sea of ashen volcanic sand surrounded by the towering cliffs of the crater’s edge. Nearby, Mt. Semeru (3676m), Java’s highest peak and one of its most active volcanoes, throws its shadow and occasionally its ash over the whole scene.' See Lonely Planet.

Bromo to Bondowoso (East Java, Indonesia)

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April 30th, 2009 - I stuck around and visited Mt. Bromo again this morning. It was an excellent move. The views and the sunrise were well worth the 4 am wake up. I decided to drive my bike into the crater once again. Driving through pockets of sandy ash (or is it ashy sand?) in the dark was a real treat but I managed to keep the bike upright. 

I started my stroll in the dark and walked right into a ravine by mistake. A local horseman offered to bring me to the base of Bromo (where the stairs begin) for 20,000 rupiahs (about US $2). That was his response when I asked where the trail was. He never did tell me where to go. I am not big on guide-by-extortion. Prick.

After the slight detour I made it to the rim and awaited the rising sun. Thankfully, there were only a few tourists making the scene exceedingly pleasant. Nothing like the smell of sulfur in the morning.

Scenes From Bondowoso (Java, Indonesia)

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May 1^st, 2009 - Contrary to what you might believe a red traffic light does not necessarily mean stop. No. It could mean accelerate, maintain current speed, slow down momentarily and then accelerate, or stop. Sometimes I think the red light is merely decorative. I do have a bit of difficulty making the determination but I find if I am the only one waiting then the light is probably a polite suggestion.

Today I hailed a becak (a three-wheeled bicycle taxi, pronounced beh-CHALK) and did a couple of laps around the center of town, snapping pictures the whole time. This was an excellent idea and a great way to see Bondowoso. Tourists are few and far between here so prepare to be the life of the party. Folks ate it up and I had a blast. Next time I may have to throw in a six pack of beer and make a day of it.

Tomorrow I will get up stupid early and head for the Ijen Plateau. If what I hear is accurate it should be quite a sight. Yesterday I was given directions by a hotel employee. I was a bit confused so I decided to check out the route before I try to tackle it in the dark on a motorcycle. Now I am even more confused. I did find the way but without the use of the prescribed route. In fact I have no idea what the hell the gentleman was attempting to tell me. More language barrier fun. I am sure it is I who am mistaken but I think maybe he was showing me the back way. I’m always so confused.

Ijen Plateau (East Java, Indonesia)

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The truth is I am not really sure how to describe a day like today. So many images and emotions were and are swirling around in my head that it is all a bit difficult to decipher. I’ll give it a shot.

I get up at 4 am in order to get an early start. As it turns out this was a smart move. My destination: Ijen Plateau –

“The Ijen volcano complex is a group of stratovolcanoes, in East Java, Indonesia. It is inside a larger caldera Ijen, which is about 20 kilometers wide. The Gunung Merapi stratovolcano (not to be confused with Central Java's Gunung Merapi) is the highest point of that complex.West of Gunung Merapi is the Ijen volcano, which has a one-kilometer-wide turquoise-colored acid crater lake. The lake is the site of a labor-intensive sulfur mining operation, in which sulfur-laden baskets are carried by hand from the crater floor. Many other post-caldera cones and craters are located within the caldera or along its rim. The largest concentration of post-caldera cones forms an E-W-trending zone across the southern side of the caldera. The active crater at Kawah Ijen has an equivalent radius of 361 meters, a surface of 41 × 106 square meters. It is 200 meters deep and has a volume of 36 × 106 cubic meters.” Wikipedia.

The trip from Bondowoso took about two hours give or take. It was the pathetic state of a stretch of the road to the plateau that accounts for much of the travel time. Some parts of that road are nothing but gravel and miniature boulders, not exactly the terrain for which my motorcycle was designed. When I arrived back at the hotel the ‘Phantom’ decal plate fell off the gas tank. Shake, rattle, and roll.

Bali Five-0 (Bali, Indonesia)

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May 20th, 2009 - I tore myself away from Seminyak. Not such an easy task. Normally I tire of beach life quickly but for some reason I am quite confident a few more days loafing in the sand would have been tolerable. No rest for the wicked. There are only so many days left on my visa and I must be getting to Sumatra before the end of this month at the latest. Current location: Probolingo, Java. Merely a pit stop on my way to Borobudur, Indonesia’s version of Angor Wat. I should be there the day after tomorrow.

Had my first run in with the traffic police today. I did something unimaginably crazy wack funk: I made a left hand turn at a red light. Nutty. As I made my way around the corner I was admonished by a traffic cop and directed to pull to the side. I did so but not without the unmistakable look of befuddlement that I often don when utterly confused. I’ve seen so many folks make left turns on red so many times that I did not even give it a second thought. Normally people barely even bother to slow down. Hindsight being what it is I can see the logic in actually stopping at this particular intersection. The stopping point is set back a bit, obscuring the view, and oncoming traffic from the direction of where I was turning takes up both lanes of the road when the light is green. Basically, when I made the turn I was heading directly into oncoming traffic. Only someone who is familiar with the area would know this. I’m not from here.

So I pulled over and sat down next to my new friend to have a chat. Sometimes it is helpful to know a few words of the local tongue. This was not one of those times so I decided to play stupid. Luckily, stupid is my middle name. I wonder how many times I repeated ‘I don’t understand’? He was edging closer and closer to writing me a ticket and I was getting progressively dumber and dumber. The idea being that the cops will get so frustrated by the language barrier that they will just say to hell with it and let you go. On this occasion I was successful. Stupid Rich: 1, Indonesian traffic police: 0.

Mas Mul (Solo, Indonesia)

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May 20^th, 2009 – PETA would not be particularly proud of me, nor would Peter Singer for that matter. Chopping off a cobra's head, drinking a cup of its blood mixed with stomach and spinal cord followed up with a barbecued cobra satay dinner is probably not on their list of 'Ethical Ways to Spend Your Evening'. I have no defense. Curiosity killed the cobra.

I am in Solo (Surakarta) in Central Java. The guidebook mentions a restaurant by the name of Mas Mul serving up a hearty plate of cobra satay. Frankly, I could not help myself. I simply had to know.

The term ‘restaurant’ is a bit of an exaggeration. More like a food stand in the corner of a wide alley. Very basic. The guy serving up the serpentine delight was a grizzled fellow with a rather grave countenance. He did, however, get a real charge out of watching me down his gruesome concoction.

You could say the food there is fresh. Near the grill he has a bag, a bag full of live cobras. Where else would you keep them? He puts on gloves and dives right in there pulling out an angry serpent. He then puts on a bit of a show, waving his hands in front of the snapping, hissing, and generally cantankerous cobra (I am assuming the fangs have been removed). This is one of those times when you really have to question exactly what the hell is going on. In my mind I'm thinking, I'm about to eat the poor bastard. No need to add insult to injury by pestering Kaa.

Trannies & A Postal Jam (Yogya, Indonesia)

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May 23^rd, 2009 – Yogyakarta, here I am. Not too terribly exciting but the city does have character. I stopped by the Kraton (palace of the sultans of Yogya) and the Taman Sari Water Castle which served as a pleasure park of palaces, pools, and waterways for the sultan and his crew back in the day. They sound grandiose but to be honest neither really tickled my fancy. My fancy could use a good tickling.

I will say that the becak drivers (bicycle taxis) and similar street denizens are a bit more aggressive here than anywhere I’ve yet been in Indonesia. It is nothing for them to follow you for five or six blocks. I fancied a walk this manana but they wanted none of it. It is not just a ride but a potential shopping spree in a one of the kazillion batik shops on offer. They’re not particularly fond of the word ‘no’ and possess a alternate view of personal space. Apparently, they also work in teams. I told one guy I was Canadian and ten minutes later in a different part of the city I had an ojek driver (motorcycle taxi) that I had not met shout, ‘Hey, Canadian!’, followed by an offer for a ride. Nice.

Prambanan (Java, Indonesia)

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May 24^th, 2009 – Today, I visited the temples at Prambanan (18 km east of Yogyakarta). There you will find the best remaining examples of Java’s period of Hindu cultural development. It is an interesting place but the quintessential tourist trap. I almost turned around before entering. To get to the ticket office you have to negotiate your way through a small souvenir shop colony.

On top of that it was a holiday so there were busloads of Indonesian tourists milling about. As I approached the largest of the temples (Candi Shiva Mahadeva) I was not in a pleasant mood. I was kicking myself for not getting there at 6 am when it opened. Luckily, Mr. Sourpuss did not hang around for long. Less than a minute after entering the temple area I was approached by a band of young students (ages 10-14) with an implacable desire to practice English. They quickly fired a barrage of questions my way that covered just about all aspects of a polite conversation.

Mister, do you love your camera? (I was cleaning the lens). Mister, what about Indonesia do you like? The weather? The people? The food? Mister, how old are you? Mister, are you married? Mister, why aren’t you married? Mister, what are your hobbies? Mister, what is your job? Mister, how long are you in Indonesia? I felt a little like I just began the lightning round in a game show. I was told they practice English every day from 7 am to 10 am. They do not screw around as they even speak English to each other. Although in the beginning there was quite a large group my entourage dwindled down to seven when I began walking about. Mister, turn left here. Mister, how tall are you? Mister, why do you take so many pictures? Mister, do you want to see Candi Sewu? Mister, it is this way.

Mount Merapi (Central Java, Indonesia)

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One more volcano. This time it was Mt. Merapi in Central Java. Merapi is one of the most active volcanoes in the world and has the capacity to be a virulent bastard. I had hoped there would be some element of excitement to the journey. There wasn’t. In fact, it was not a very fruitful enterprise at all.

Rather than drive to the village of Selo and start from there I decided to just sign up for a tour from Jogja. The cost was only about $20 and by doing this I could avoid packing up and moving. I am quite fond of the place I am currently in and knew I would relish returning here after an arduous hike.

As always the sunrise was mandatory viewing so an early departure was essential. Pickup at 10 pm in Jogja, an hour and forty-five minute drive to Selo, 1 a.m. departure from Selo, four hours up the mountain, hour or two dawdling at the top, three hours back to Selo, and then the drive back to Jogja. Happiness and joy.

Borobudur (Central Java, Indonesia)

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May 29^th, 2009 -  The day after my Mt. Merapi extravaganza I packed up and left Jogjakarta for the village of Borobudur. This is where the famous Buddhist temple of the same name can be found. It is billed as one of Southeast Asia’s marvels and is on par with Myanmar’s Bagan and Cambodia’s Angkor Wat. It was built some time between AD 750 and AD 850 and required an estimated 60,000 cubic meters of stone to be hewn, transported, and carved. In a word: amazing. Remarkably, very little is known about the early history of the monument. It was abandoned soon after completion and was not rediscovered until 1815 when it was unearthed under a crapload of volcanic ash.

'Borobudur is a ninth-century Mahayana Buddhist Monument in Magelang, Central Java, Indonesia. The monument comprises six square platforms topped by three circular platforms, and is decorated with 2,672 relief panels and 504 Buddha statues.[1] A main dome, located at the center of the top platform, is surrounded by 72 Buddha statues seated inside perforated stupa.

The monument is both a shrine to the Lord Buddha and a place for Buddhist pilgrimage. The journey for pilgrims begins at the base of the monument and follows a path circumambulating the monument while ascending to the top through the three levels of Buddhist cosmology, namely Kāmadhātu (the world of desire), Rupadhatu (the world of forms) and Arupadhatu (the world of formlessness). 

During the journey the monument guides the pilgrims through a system of stairways and corridors with 1,460 narrative relief panels on the wall and the balustrades. Evidence suggests Borobudur was abandoned following the fourteenth century decline of Buddhist and Hindu kingdoms in Java, and the Javanese conversion to Islam.[2] Worldwide knowledge of its existence was sparked in 1814 by Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles, the then British ruler of Java, who was advised of its location by native Indonesians. Borobudur has since been preserved through several restorations. The largest restoration project was undertaken between 1975 and 1982 by the Indonesian government and UNESCO, following which the monument was listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.[3] Borobudur is still used for pilgrimage; once a year Buddhists in Indonesia celebrate Vesak at the monument, and Borobudur is Indonesia's single most visited tourist attraction.' See Wikipedia article here.

Have you noticed how much fun it is to say the word stupa?

Bogor to ja-KAR-ta! (West Java, Indonesia)

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If there is a highway in hell I know where Satan found his inspiration. That would be the road from Bogor to Jakarta in West Java. Two words: holy shitnuggets. You have not lived until you’ve driven a motorcycle down this gem. Of course, if you do then you might not be around to share. The Bogor region is a highland escape from the oppressive heat of Jakarta for much of the local populace. As a result weekend traffic is ludicrous.

I read about this and made it a point to avoid venturing there on the weekend. This can be problematic when you have no idea what day of the week it is. So guess where I found myself on a Saturday afternoon? Idiot.

Traffic is so thick the authorities are forced to stop vehicles going in one direction for a period of time and let vehicles from the other direction proceed. This turns some parts of the road into two lanes of one way traffic and other sections into half-gridlock half-free flowing traffic. Having a motorcycle allows one to avoid gridlock but not without skirting the boundary of prudence and foolhardiness.

Ambiguously Fun Evening (Jakarta, Indonesia)

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June 1^st, 2009 - If Indonesia has a poophole then Jakarta might be it. Okay, that is a bit harsh but the conclusion is drawn every time I start driving around this city. It’s a friggin' jungle out there. Yesterday, after a couple of hours braving the roads I required a beer to take the edge off and relax a bit. It was while I was enjoying a refreshing beverage that I met Indira and Lena, an Indonesian male and female enjoying a drink at the table next to me. They were curious about what I was doing, where I was going, and all the usually tidbits about my travels.

Their English was not stellar but it was good enough to carry on a meaningful conversation. It was not long into the discussion that I found out Indira (a middle-age Indonesian man with some type of business related to immigration . . . .I think) has two wives, one from Indonesia and the other from Russia. Alrighty.

He just married his Russian bride two months previous and has apparently been paying the price (literally and figuratively) ever since. I asked if him if they lived in the same house and was given the ‘no f***ing way’ facial expression.

Apparently, there is animosity between brides. Can't imagine why. And I was told that Team Russia was a bit of a money pit and that all she wanted to do was fight all the time. I am not sure if ‘fight’ has a physical component but I get the distinct feeling that Indira gets his ass handed to him on a regular basis. I was informed by Lena (his female companion) that Indira also has ‘too many girlfriend’ in addition to a rather complex domestic situation. On top of all that he has a son who has been living in Los Angeles for the past nine years. If I understood correctly he cannot return home because he overstayed his visa and is afraid of getting in trouble.

Jakarta Five-0 (Jakarta, Indonesia)

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June 3^rd, 2009 - Busted. Again. This time it was an illegal right hand turn. One more violation and I think it will be time to join a crime syndicate. I like traffic circles. Who doesn’t? Some circles are not meant to be circumnavigated I guess. The ones in Jakarta are certainly not. Apparently, when you have the green light you can only go straight through. No turning. I am sure there is a sign telling me this somewhere but how the hell was I suppose to know? Not to mention I was merely following another vehicle. The problem is, Indonesia loves one way roads, no u-turn signs, and all kinds of other obstacles that prevent getting to the place you wish to go (usually within your line of sight) with any sort of ease.

Sometimes you can turn left on red. Sometimes not. Sometimes a red light means stop. Sometimes it means, Yeah, right! Following other drivers does little to shed light on the proper procedure since it is impossible to determine who is actually following the rules and who could not give a rat’s ass.

So there I am stopped on the other side of a circle at a red light. This is, of course, right in front of a traffic police post. Out of the corner of my eye I see Barney Fife and his partner headed in my direction. I am next to another vehicle so I am hoping they are coming for him. If you were in my head you would have heard Don’t look. You’re invisible. They can’t see you. They don’t want you. They want him. Stay cool. Look straight ahead and--- Hello! Busted. I was invited to park my hog and join them in the traffic shed. I graciously accepted their offer. I once again put on my stupid hat and pretended not to know a syllable of Indonesian. Then began the incomprehensible utterances and pantomiming.

Mall Madness (Jakarta, Indonesia)

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June 6^th, 2009 - I hate to beat a dead horse into kibble but driving in this city is extremely exhausting. Leaving aside that everyone wants to occupy the same space simultaneously (think of it as the ‘quantum mechanics’ style of driving), right turns can sometimes be as elusive as the snow leopard. Last night I went to get some dinner at a place that I knew was nearby. I looked at the map and saw that there was a shorter way to go. I failed to remember the ‘one way street phenomenon’ and ended up driving about ten miles out of my way before I could make a u-turn (probably illegal).

Today I found a traffic circle that one can actually circumnavigate (as opposed to the one a couple of days ago that lead to a $50 ‘fine’). You really have to be on your toes.

I’ve been attempting to prepare for my upcoming journey to Sumatra, quite possibly the most adventurous portion of my Indonesian extravaganza. I’ve had mixed success. The other day I got so little accomplished I decided to reward myself with a movie, Terminator Salvation. The movie sucked but it felt good to sit and watch a flick. The theater sits on the upper floors of the nicest mall I have ever been in, The Plaza Indonesia Shopping Center in Jakarta. Mostly designer stores with designer prices but worth a look if you ever find yourself in town.