July
8th, 2010 - So I hit a wall, although it felt more like a
wall hit me. Tired, sick, and in the throes of an existential crisis,
for the first time on this trip I seriously considered packing it in
and heading home. What the hell am I doing? Seriously? It is going on
two years that I have not worked, a year and a half of that spent
wandering the globe. Am I mental? I have absolutely no idea what the
hell it is I am going to do when I return home. Who the f#$% does
that?
Some
people choose drugs, alcohol, or gambling as a path to
self-destruction. Am I really any different? Dunno. I studied
philosophy in college. There's a golden resume nugget. I went to law
school, passed the NY bar exam, and then blew the whole career
directly out of my ass. Way to work it through. I then parted ways
with the realm of reason and rationality. I joined the US Army. Take
average human being. Add three years of law school and lightly
sprinkle in (or is it mash violently?) three and a half years of
military extravaganza (I voluntary extricated myself before my five
year term was up. Yes, it is a long story). Top off with two and a
half years employed on a military base on the edge of Baghdad. What
you have is a recipe for one cynical muther f@#$er!!!! You also have
keen insight as to why I might need to roam the earth for a spell.
That's right. Get into my head. Chaotic but fun.
Sadly,
I've spent an inordinate amount of time in Georgia trying to figure
out what to do next….in Georgia. I've been stagnant before but this
time it is like being stuck in a pile of quick shit (like quick sand
but fecal in nature). I believe I've become a quasi-member of the
family at my homestay in Tbilisi. I've actually heard someone refer
to the 'American guy's room'. A few more nights and I believe I get
my name on the door. I blame the Georgian Foreign Ministry. There is
no visa requirement for citizens of the USA (and some other
countries) for stays less than 360 days. 360 days? I have never heard
of such a thing. Not a good way to light a fire under my ass. I am
considering a Breakaway Republic Caucasus Tour 2010 that
would include Abkhazia and South Ossetia in Georgia (or is it
Russia?) and Nagorno-Karabakh in Armenia (or is it Azerbaijan?).
I've
seen people on the streets of Tbilisi donning some interesting
t-shirts with English phrases to include, but not limited to:
'Fuck
Google. Ask me'
'Sex
Instructor: First Lesson Free'
'Good
Fucker'
'It
Doesn't Get Any Better Than Me'
I
'Heart' NY (NY has been crossed out and 'My Daddy' added below it to
be read I Heart My Daddy)'
'Make
Rave Not War'
'Stress
Is Fuel For My Creativity'
'No
Girlfriend, No Problem'
'Remember
My Name. You'll Be Screaming It Later'
'Fishing
Is Like Sex. When It's Good It's Really Good. When It's Bad It's
Still Pretty Good'
Fast
Food' (accompanied by a drawing of a man chasing a woman).
I
am fairly
certain many folks have no idea what the hell their shirt actually
says or signifies. Its better that way.
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"
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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim