We arose the next morning to find our hopes of rescue dashed. No vehicle appeared at 8 am. We would be forced to huff it on foot. So for the second time we engaged in river crossing hijinks. The morning was spent in phases. I would recon an area for suitable places to cross (this time I wore shorts) and then we would doff our footwear and waddle through the icy waters. And I do mean icy. In the beginning it was actually painful. Luckily, it only took about a half hour for my feet to adjust (by adjust I am referring to a blissful state of numbness). When we finally surmounted a series of short crossing points we donned our footwear and proceeded on, thinking we would be able to walk all the way to pay dirt. Not bloody likely.
We were to hit another wall as the snaking of the river once again pushed the waters flush against the side of a cliff. And due to the confluence of streams upriver we were now facing a much more precarious scenario. We did have assistance….sort of. On the other side were three young Azerbaijani soldiers (border patrol) posted near the village where we had received our minor interrogation on the way in. They approached the water's edge and watched as I tried and failed to find a suitable pass. Thus began our joint effort to surmount the river wild. We both scanned our respective sides for an opening until Young Soldier Number One began beckoning me to the side and instructing me to give it a shot in the area of his designation…..which happened to be the hairiest, most dangerous part of the river. I just stood there in awe as he beckoned me across. I began furiously pantomiming 'What the f**k??!!' while pointing at the swift moving waters, all the while doing my impression of me falling down and being swept away. He continued to usher me across. I continued to ignore him.
I returned to the place where Amy was watching and we both stared on in disbelief as Young Soldier Number Two began disrobing. He was going to show me how much of a little girl I was. I was going to watch him die. I returned to the river bank and in my most accomplished 'what the f**k are you thinking you crazy sob are you out of your mind' sign language tried to dissuade this course of action. Amy and I realized that we were possibly skirting the edge of an international incident. Imagine the fallout from the death of a soldier attempting to rescue two tards from themselves. Not good. Not good at all. Luckily, not long after entering the icy waters Young Soldier Number Two reassessed his strategy and aborted mission. Pheeeew!!
|Cheer up, Sparkles. It ain't so bad