Nov
19th,
2009 – Do I get lonely on the road? Does a tiger shit in the
jungle? Who among us does not suffer from the affliction from time to
time? It is an inescapable characteristic of the human condition and,
I believe, a necessary one. People sometimes need to be alone even
if doing so allows loneliness a foot in the door. You need to let it
in, to savor it. It makes us human, forces us to contemplate the
essence of our humanity. Without it what would we have? An
existential gang bang is what. But how much should we embrace?
Too
little and experiences become trite, hackneyed, jaded even. Too much
we become isolated, cut off from a certain type of happiness and
fulfillment that only a social existence can foster. Both extremes
inevitably have a numbing effect, an insidious brand of torment that
is exceedingly difficult to overcome.
I
must admit that a companion here and there would offset the constant
pressure (for lack of a better word) that arises from always having
to organize everything alone. But beyond that practical
consideration some experiences are just too amazing not to be shared.
Many times during my passage through Upper Mustang I was grateful for
the time spent in quiet contemplation along the trail. It was
extremely rewarding. However, having someone else to share the
experience with, to validate the surrounding beauty and magnificence,
to somehow consecrate all my internal musings and jubilations about
the nature of the incomprehensible, would have been remarkable.
Better or worse? I don't know.
Travelers
are indeed everywhere, more so than at any other point in history I
reckon (especially in Kathmandu), but for some reason people seem to
be a bit more closed off than I remember from earlier travels. This
has been the case from the beginning of this excursion starting in
Indonesia.
Perhaps, it
has always been this way and I have just failed to notice it in the
past. It is quite possible that the problem falls entirely my
lap, for admittedly, I do not go out of my way to engage.
However, I am a bit of a doppelganger when it comes to the outward
emotional manifestations of others. If someone is friendly and
outgoing I tend to reflect that and, likewise, if they are cold and
introverted I tend to respond in kind.