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| Marktplatz |
It
is an excellent place to not do much of anything at all. So I went
ahead and did not much of anything at all. My chosen form of sloth
was sipping coffee in Marktplatz to the tune of accordion/guitar
street music while engaging in one of my favorite past-times: people
watching. In between my appointments at Starbucks (I justified my
visits to this paradigm of American capitalistic globalism by the
existence of free wifi) I did manage to do a bit of shopping (it was
time for new Underoos)
and some aimless cruising on a bicycle through the center of town.
Quaint. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. I did not even mind the frequent
rain. And then there is the added benefit of having someone cook
delicious food for your eating enjoyment. And just in case you're
curious my new boxer shorts look fucking great on me. They are made out
of wool which means you can wear them for days without the smelly poo
poo kaka fragrance. Yes.
Did
I mention the magic? The Grimm Brothers once wrote a fairy tale
entitled The
Town Musicians of Bremen which
chronicles the journey of a donkey, a dog, a cat, and a rooster to
the town of Bremen. They never make it to Bremen but most folks do
not seem to be bothered by this inconvenient truth. I think it's
bullshit. Bullshit I say! I'd go into details but I would not want to
ruin the story for those that have not had the pleasure. Its a real
page turner.
I
did not delve into historic aspects of my destination as I am often
apt to do. Instead I just kind of soaked it all in without pondering
the significance. It was a welcome respite. I did make a stop at the
13th century Cathedral
of St. Petri for a look around. This included an extended
linger in the 'room of silence' where I could not resist the urge to
get down on all fours and bark at tourists as they entered and
exited. Well, not really but the thought was there.
There
were also some random highlights. While availing myself of public
transportation I was fortunate enough to see an extremely intoxicated
gentleman pass out of the floor of the tram-train.
A few good Samaritans tried unsuccessfully to rouse him from his
stupor but he was beyond help. The tram was brought to a standstill
until an ambulance arrived. Thankfully, we were able to switch
trams.
I saw
a 30-year-old gentleman performing a unique birthday ritual that, for
some reason, involves dressing like a woman (wig, dress, etc.),
sweeping up a large pile of bottle caps, and ingesting large amounts
of alcohol in front of the St. Petri Cathedral. Apparently, this is
what you are reduced to if you happen to be a unmarried male by your
30th birthday. Not sure if this is a Bremen thing or ubiquitous
across Germany. I do not think a church is required but blasphemy
adds that forbidden element that is too exciting to dismiss. Who
knows what happens when you turn 40? I think barnyard animals may be
involved (a donkey, a dog, a cat, and a rooster?).
And
then there is Alsterwasser (also known as Radler
or Shandy). This is
a mixture of carbonated soda (usually Sprite) with beer. In a country
famous for its beer this just feels wrong and tastes, in my most
humble opinion, even worse. Then again, who the hell am I? If you
don't like Sprite you can substitute Coke or Fanta but it will
certainly not excuse your behavior.
I
will be paid the tidy sum of $1.50 US for a promotional blog post.
Guess that makes me a professional. This means my salary for the last
year and eight months works out to just over seven cents a month.
Don't tell the IRS. It's all mine. This windfall will just about
cover half the price of a tram token. I'm fucking awesome.
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| The Room of Silence. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut the f*** up! |
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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim