844 days, 20,256 hours, 1,215,360 minutes, or 72,921,600 seconds. That is the approximate duration of my world tour. I never wanted it to end and now, in a manner of speaking, I suppose it never has to. If you wish to go by country do so by clicking on one above. They are numbered in the order I visited them, more or less. If you enjoy reading about it even a tenth as much as I enjoyed living it then you will not have wasted your time. Grab a refreshing beverage, settle in a comfortable chair, and make a journey across the world, experiencing it as I did. Then get off your ass and check it out for yourself. You're not getting any younger.

My Balinese ‘Hog’ (Ubud, Indonesia)

January 17th, 2009 - I decided to rent a motorbike. This was not a decision taken lightly as riding through the streets of Ubud on one of these ‘hogs’ is akin to running across a four way intersection blindfolded. I believe in the existence of a twenty minute window of death. If you can get through the first twenty minutes on one of these bad boys without serious bodily injury you will probably be okay . . . . . probably. 

As I mentioned before adherence to traffic laws is not a Balinese pastime and it’s nothing for fellow motorbike enthusiasts to be driving down the wrong way of a one way street. (Author’s Note: It turns out that the ‘One Way’ designation only applies to larger vehicles, not motorbikes. Why would it?). It seems ludicrous until you start doing it yourself. Yesterday, I was getting passed by nine year old girls. Today, I was pushing Mach 1 (40 mph).

Leaving aside the learning curve it is actually a great way to get around Ubud. For the past day and a half I’ve been cruising all over and getting lost in the countryside. I met a kid on the side of the road who happened to be a guide. He took me for a short jaunt through rice fields down near a river and to his village. And yes, I thought it perfectly reasonable to go tramping through the countryside with a kid I met on the side of the road. Never mind the fact that I visited the ATM and had three million rupiahs in my pocket (roughly $300 US at the time). He did show me a large Banyan tree (one of the biggest trees in the world according to my new friend). It looks like a small forest of individual trees but is actually one organism connected by single root system. Many of the roots hang like vines from the branches and take hold once they reach the ground, so on and so forth until you have what appears to be many individual trees. Of course, he probably made that up to screw with me. I’d have taken a picture but like a doof I forgot my Nikon. Dumb.

The tree is planted in my friend’s village community. They have to cut some of the vines in order to clear the pathway but before they do they make offerings to appease the spirit of the tree. Balinese culture is highly animistic. Spirits are everywhere. I’ll get more into the culture as time progresses. It is fascinating.

By the way as cheap as Bali is it would be half as cheap if I had a traveling companion. So screw everybody for having lives, wives, and fancy steak knives. Least I’m not bitter.

Below are some pics of my first semi-luxurious abode (Alam Jiwa). I needed a little pampering after my flight-a-thon. Besides, I’m worth it.


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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim