844 days, 20,256 hours, 1,215,360 minutes, or 72,921,600 seconds. That is the approximate duration of my world tour. I never wanted it to end and now, in a manner of speaking, I suppose it never has to. If you wish to go by country do so by clicking on one above. They are numbered in the order I visited them, more or less. If you enjoy reading about it even a tenth as much as I enjoyed living it then you will not have wasted your time. Grab a refreshing beverage, settle in a comfortable chair, and make a journey across the world, experiencing it as I did. Then get off your ass and check it out for yourself. You're not getting any younger.

Monkey Forest (Ubud, Indonesia)

January 18th, 2009 - I went to Mandala Wisata Wanara Wana (or Sacred Money Forest Sanctuary to the layman) today. It is right in Ubud and is a bit of a tourist trap but it does have monkeys. Everyone wins with monkeys, especially when they are aggressive nasty banana/fruit hoarding little bastards. Inside the forest is Pura Dalem Agung (Temple of the Dead). Unfortunately, I did not happen to see any dead people walking around which is a real shame as I have a lot of questions. Maybe next time.

I refrained from feeding the monkeys as it is clear doing so turns them into raging assholes. However, if I was going to feed the little heathens I would sure as hell buy only the ‘official’ Monkey Forest bananas. Frankly, they are the only bananas I trust and, more importantly, the only ones the monkeys trust. Do yourself a favor. Do the monkeys a favor. Buy the official fucking bananas.


Bill, was this hole here yesterday?

Nice Junk.

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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim