Tickle My Kuta (Bali, Indonesia)

Much of what I expected in the tourist black hole that is Kuta, Bali did manifest itself. Traffic is a clusterf**k, especially in the afternoon. Every guy and his mother has a Bintang tank top (Bintang is Indonesia’s most popular beer). They look really, really good. Not only are there droves of studmuffins wearing these tank tops but they are all, more or less, wearing the same one. I know exactly what to wear when I want to sizzle.

I arose at the asscrack of dawn. Actually, the dawn’s crack was not even showing. As I walked toward the beach in the dark (power outage so no ambient lighting whatsoever) I was propositioned by a small Indonesia gentleman offering to do ‘whatever I want’ if I stayed with him. 

I declined. I encountered a pack of stray dogs I thought might use me for a chew toy. They didn’t. While I was taking photos on the beach a well-fed transvestite came up behind me, put his/her hand on my back and offered a little ‘sucky, sucky’. I declined . . . again. Maybe I just don’t want to be loved.

Ku-De-Ta (Seminyak, Indonesia)

For an updated version of this post, go here.

May 18^th, 2009 - I buckled. I went for a hair cut today. I had not planned on it. I wanted to keep it long in order to take on that derelict, hobo aura. I figured this might make unseemly types hesitate before engaging. Just a theory but who knows. Well, I just could not take it anymore. With the heat and the motorcycle helmet I had to trim it. Now it’s fairly short. I went from hippie-ish to looking like I wear a collared shirt and sell insurance. Now my look may actually invite a good ass kicking. My own brand of birth control.

Today was a rather fine one. I did something I am not normally wont to do: I hung out at the beach most of the day. Kooky. I guess you could say I found the Bali I had envisioned. In the more upscale area of southern Bali (Seminyak area) is a beach side restaurant know as Ku De Ta (pronounced coups d’etat).

It sits atop a small hill on a magnificent stretch of beach. Truth be told the place is more than a little pretentious and it is peopled with the Bold and the Beautiful (or at least those who would like to be) but you cannot beat the location for the swimming and the view. It is especially favorable in the morning. I arrived around 8:30 am and starting sipping a beer by 8:45. That might indicate an addiction to alcohol but in this case it was simply that the mood struck me, and a fine mood it was. I rotated between the beer and the swimming. The water was near perfect, refreshingly cool and not too terribly salty. One could while away large volumes of time frolicking in the surf. And frolic I did. I noticed that if you hold your breath and float face up with the water just covering your ears it feels a little like you are the only person in the sea. That combined with the smooth action of the waves was sublime.